Boan-head-erges: Sons of blunder

Glorious Triumph

2009-06-09T04:54:00.002-04:00

No lock nor key will save that day,
the things reseved by he
who wants all souls dead as prey,
for the Chosen shall be free.
For the gates of hell,
They shall not prevail.
No, the gates of hell,
They shall not prevail
Against the One,
the Rock on which we stand.

He is Jesus! He is Jesus,
Who brings us life,
And redeems us from the Grave.

How's Your Breathing?

2009-05-12T06:15:00.006-04:00

Breath in.

Breath out and hold. (Really, do it! It will make sense later.)

Sometimes I wonder why God has made the body to function as it does. I know that our body is designed to constantly need a constant influx of oxygen and an expulsion of carbon dioxide. (I hope you’re still holding your breath. If you neglected to follow directions, shame on you.) Couldn’t God have created us to not need it? That’s a rhetorical question, of course.

Now breath again.

Was that not a great relief to breath in again? As I try the same exercise rereading what I’ve written, I start to get a tingling in my chest, my toes start to curl and my body starts to fidget uncontrollably. My body is telling me that I need some air!

I can’t tell you much about the biological aspects of what is happening when we stop breathing. I just know we begin to suffocate. I know I don’t like it. I feel my finiteness. It reveals my need of something outside of me. And while it is something that is usually there, it is something I really have no control over.

Over the past several months, I have been focusing and meditating on two huge subjects: the Gospel and faith. I’ve learned a lot about both. It has been awesome! I’ve in no way perfected it, but that’s the beauty of justification: having been declared righteous in the sight of God because of Christ’s imputed righteousness upon me (Thanks Josh!).

Getting back to faith, the Lord has given me much more clarity with the necessity of faith in fighting sin than I have ever had before. It is only by faith through the working of the Holy Spirit that I will ever find true, God pleasing victory. Anything outside of faith is “Cainic” (Hebrews 11:4), if I may be so bold as to coin a term or so dumb as to mess up one that already exists and forget its existence.

Now that I’ve got that down pat (sprinkled with a pinch of sarcasm), I figured I should be on the easy street to godliness. One moment, I’m praying, “Lord, help me to live by faith. I recognize that you are infinitely better than anything the world can ever offer me.” And, the Lord leads me into sweet fellowship with Him. Then as I’m walking down the yellow brick road of “holiness”, I find a loose brick and fall flat on my face. How could this be? I had sought the Lord and had been living by faith.

Then it dawned on me. Somehow, I had forgotten to continue to live by faith. I had ignorantly thought that since I had put my faith in Christ a few hours ago, that it would still be good for now. I had realized that living by faith is just like breathing: it must remain constant and consistent.

Romans 1:17

For in it God's righteousness is revealed from faith to faith, just as it is written: The righteous will live by faith.

When we breath, that breath is efficacious for that moment. The second we stop breathing, we start suffocating. The very instant, we stop living by faith, we start suffocating spiritually. Just as the breath I took when I began writing this is no longer efficacious for this moment, the faith that I had two hours ago is no longer efficacious for this moment... now.

So, as we go through each day, we must constantly and consistently live by faith. The moment we stop, we should feel it. If you don’t, check your pulse. It should be just as natural for us as breathing. And with each new breath of faith, we will become renewed and invigorated with power of the Holy Spirit and the righteousness of Christ that has been poured out on us who believe.

Stop and Think

2009-04-15T15:22:00.009-04:00

In elementary school, I was that kid that kid in class that never seemed to pay attention. I was either tapping my pencil on the desk or the person in front of me or I was doodling in my notebook. When I was in third grade, my teacher told my mom that I had ADHD. Subsequently, my mom decided to have me start to go see someone to try to deal with my inability to keep focused in any classroom setting.

Looking back, there were a lot of things that I disagree with. But, one of the things that she drilled into my head was, “Stop and think.” I got so tired of hearing her say that all the time. She wanted me to be in the habit of periodically stopping what I was doing and evaluate whether or not that’s what I should be doing. One good opportunity to use this strategy would have been when I was draining the ink from my pen at the back door where our dog liked to jump and let us know she wanted in. But, I didn’t. Several good opportunities would have been over the summers when I was terrorizing my sisters while my parents were at work. My sisters will definitely vouch that I didn’t take those opportunities. The list of missed opportunities could go on and on... and on. But, if I had, what illustrations would I have for my posts?

A few weeks ago I got together for “coffee” at Starbucks with my pastor, Scott. Neither of us had coffee. He probably had 10 cups before I got there and I didn’t really feel like pumping a ton of caffeine into my system at 9pm. Those of you who know me are probably thinking this is moot because you know I’ll probably be up all hours of the night anyway. You’re right. But, why make things worse.

We started out with small talk. He asked how Ben was doing and I gave him the update. We then talked about the Millennial Kingdom for a bit and he gave me some good things to think about. After that, our conversation moved to sin and sanctification.

The Lord has really been at work in my life and has been teaching me a lot, especially through recent circumstances. And, the Lord has been giving me a lot of victory over temptation to sin. There have been several times where temptation has come into my life and I’ve been so overcome with worship that I didn’t even desire the sin. There have been other times, however, where the temptation has been tough and I’ve had to grit my teeth, dig deep and press on. After a while, that can very tiring. It feels like I’m barely getting through it by the skin of my teeth. Sometimes even that can seem discouraging. I’m not expecting the war over the flesh to be a bed of roses, but seriously, does it have to be this hard?

He talked about the three types of people who are facing temptation. First, there is the guy who says to just give in because it’s going to happen anyway. Second, you have the pharisee who doesn’t sin because he afraid of punishment and pride. Lastly, you have the man who loves the Gospel. He chooses not to sin because he understands that the Gospel: Jesus, is so much better.

With the first guy, his heart remains unchanged. The second guy’s heart is only restrained, and for all intents and purposes, still unchanged. The third guy’s heart, however, is changed by the Gospel. I’ve realized that for a long time I was the second guy. But, God isn’t glorified because a guy chooses not to sin because he’s scared of what will happen to him if he sins. God is glorified when man chooses not to sin because his heart has been changed by the Gospel through faith (Hebrews 11:6 - “Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him.”).

Through much of our lives, the pharisee mind set is drilled into our heads. We didn’t lie to our parents because we were scared of getting in trouble. We obey the law because we fear going to jail. Now, we’ve translated that into our walk with God: We resist sin because we are afraid of judgement and condemnation, or we don’t out of pride (Look at how much I’m living for God.).

The reality of it is, our judgement and condemnation has been taken on by Jesus Christ through His work on the cross if we have put our faith in Him to redeem us from our sin and made Him Lord in our life.

Romans 8:1 "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death."

Unfortunately, in many cases, I still find myself in a position of just restraining my heart. How do we change this? How do we get ourselves out of this pharisaical mind set? Through regular “check ups”, as Scott put it. We regularly stop and think: What is my motivation? Am I treasuring the Gospel? Do I not sin because I fear retribution from God or a condemning stare from other men or because I love Christ more than that sin? Do I love and live out the Gospel?

The reality is, resisting sin because our heart is merely restrained and not changed is not really much of a victory at all. God is still just as displeased with the state of our heart just like he was with Cain in Genesis 4. True victory comes when we realize that the joy of being united with Christ, being in fellowship with God and having the Spirit dwelling inside is so much better than anything any sin could ever offer! We taste and see that God is good (Ps 34:8) Because of that, I desire to please God; not because I’m afraid he will do something bad to me. As John Piper so often says,
“GOD is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.”

The Muhammed Ali Complex

2009-04-11T03:54:00.003-04:00

In memory, rather mournful celebration, of the death of our Savior, Jesus Christ, I spent today reading the accounts of the Betrayal, Prayer, False Trial, Crucifixion and Burial of the Messiah throughout the Gospels.

There were a couple occasions where I got a little choked up. The King, Creator and Sustainer of everything that everything that ever was, everything that is and everything that ever will be gruesomely died a shameful and painful death to bear the sin of those who have hated him, of whom I am included.

"So forever will I tell, In three hours, Christ suffered more than any sinner ever will in hell."*

Betrayed, torn, beaten, mocked, stripped, blasphemed, falsely tried, ridiculed, hated and left to die the horrific death of the Cross. He knew that was coming: "And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, 'This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My blood. But behold, the hand of the one betraying Me is with Mine on the table. For indeed, the Son of Man is going as it has been determined; but woe to that man by whom He is betrayed!'"
Basically, "Guys, my blood will be shed as I drink the Cup of the Wrath of God. Not only that, but it will be made possible since one of you, my twelve closest friends, are going to betray me."
And what was their reaction?
"It's not me!"
"Well, Peter, I'll tell you for sure it's not me!"
"Woah, Thomas, don't give me that look, it's not me! Nobody loves Jesus more than me!"
"Hey, hey John... what are you getting at. My mom already talked to him about making me one of the greatest!"
"Hey Jesus, I'll drink the cup with you."
"Sit down Peter. You bark's bigger than your bite. Besides, I'm going to be the greatest!"

I call it the Muhammad Ali Complex: "I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was." Sinful arrogance.

AND THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME THIS HAPPENED!!! This makes the second time in Luke that Christ prophesied of His death and they just turn to arguing about who's going to be the greatest!!! (Luke 9:44-46)

Momentarily, I was appalled. In the shadow of the most selfless act that ever was and ever will be, in the presence of the most Humble Servant ever, they were filled with pride and arrogance. Don't they know this is The Last Supper??? Don't they get it that Jesus is going to be crucified??? Then, it dawned on me. We do the same thing, if not worse. We've got the 20-20 hindsight view of the Work of Jesus Christ and we do the exact same thing!!!

We love the limelight. We love to show off our Spiritual Gifts as if they are produced by us in the first place! We argue and bicker about who will be the greatest among men. We paint amazing facades to cover our broken reality just to make think people think we are sweet!

Apart from Jesus Christ, WE ARE NOTHING!!!!!! Again, apart from Jesus Christ, WE ARE LESS THAN NOTHING!!!!!!

How dare we assume our works are anything more than menstrual rags (Isaiah 64:6) and feces (Philippians 3:8) before God! "Without faith, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God."(Hebrews 11:6) The only thing that makes me righteous is the Work of Jesus Christ through His death and resurrection!!! My works become a sweet smelling savor before God because it is the Holy Spirit doing it through me!

Let us not only be thankful but also humbled as we remember the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Messiah. And, as Jesus Christ served and suffered for others, let us serve one another in true, Spirit-worked humility.

* This is from one of the most theologically packed musicians I have ever heard, Shai Linne.

The Cross (3 Hours) by Shai Linne

Verse 1
There’s something you gotta see, journey with me
It’s approximately 30 A.D.
In the land of Israel- the city of Jerusalem
But on the outside there’s screams and loud cries
Through faith, this scene can be seen without eyes
The mean shout lies and seem to sound wise
As we inch through the crowd, we need to be cautious
A Roman execution, men on three crosses
But all the focus is on the one in the center
The gate closes behind you- no one can enter
The sight you behold is so odd, you’re stunned
The man hanging on the cross is God the Son
12 noon, it’s pitch-black because the sunshine’s lacking
Your minds can’t fathom this divine transaction
As slowly the sound becomes mostly drowned
You realize that you’re standing on holy ground

Bridge

So forever will I tell
In three hours, Christ suffered more than any sinner ever will in hell (4x)

Chorus
It’s where we see Your holiness- at the cross
We see that You’re controlling this- at the cross
We see how You feel about sin- at the cross
Your unfathomable love for men- at the cross
It’s where we see Your sovereignty- at the cross
We see our idolatry- at the cross
We know that there’s a judgment day- from the cross
May we never take our eyes away- from the cross

Verse 2

We’re now in the realm of the sublime and profound
With God at the helm it’s about to go down
The Father’s wrath precise will blast and slice
The priceless Master Christ as a sacrifice
Willingly, He’s under the curse
To be treated as if the Son was the worst scum of the earth
The scene is the craziest
Jesus being treated as if He is the shadiest atheist
How is it the Messiah is in the fiery pit
As if He was a wicked liar with twisted desires?
The One who’s sinless and just
Punished as if He was promiscuous and mischievous with vicious lust
The source of all godly pleasure
Tormented as if He was a foul investor or child molestor
How could He be bruised like He was a goodie two-shoes
who doesn’t think that she needs the good news?
He’s perfect in love and wisdom
But He’s suffering as if He constructed the corrupt justice system
We should mourn at the backdrop
Jesus torn like He’s on the corner with crack rock with porn on His laptop
What is this, kid? His gifts are infinite
But He’s hit with licks for religious hypocrites
He’s the Light, but being treated like
He’s the seedy type who likes to beat His wife
He’s treated like a rapist, treated like a slanderer
Treated like a racist or maybe a philanderer
Jesus being penalized like He had sin inside
Filled with inner pride while committing genocide
I could write for a billion years and still can’t name
All of the sins placed on the Lamb slain
But know this: the main thing the cross demonstrated
The glory and the holiness of God vindicated.

Shadow: The Golden Almost Retriever

2009-03-18T05:43:00.002-04:00

I've recently managed to travel back home to PA again. My dad had another birthday on March 9th, so I went home to take him to a hockey game as a reminder of how much those games he took me to as a kid meant to me and how I love spending time with him. That, however, is something for a different post. The subject of this rant is a little more hairy.

While I was home, I made an observation that I am more like my sister's Golden Retriever, Shadow, than I ever thought I would be. First, and not quite so related to the following story, is how annoying he can be... but I still love that dog. I've had friends, two in particular that I can remember, saying to me, "I want to be irritated with you sometimes, but I just can't." There's a lovable obnoxiousness about him. On many evenings in the living room, by the TV, you will find my parents watching their favorite shows. By their side will be the gigantic beast waiting for someone to pet him. When this doesn't happen after, say, five minutes, he begins his hunt for a resting hand. He will nudge his cold, wet nose underneath just hoping to get a few scratches on his back. I always love finding the spot on his side that makes his leg twitch uncontrollably. Or, he will grab his ball and keep dropping it on you until you throw it for him. He lives for it. He is, of course, a Golden Retriever... almost.

The next thing builds on his last characteristic of being annoying. While I was home, I went out back to throw his ball with him. Though, it's not much of a ball anymore. It used to be a black, miniature basketball. Now, it's a flattened, concave piece of rubber. None of his toys ever seem to last very long. He also lives to destroy his toys. I think he considers their structural integrity a challenge that cannot go uncontested. At any rate, in the arena of the back yard, there are two sure things with Shadow. He wants you to throw his ball for him. He is, as I stated earlier, a Golden Retriever... almost. See, when you throw the ball for him, he will run with all the energy his furry, little legs can muster. He'll scoop up the ball with his slobber-filled mouth and he will run straight back for you with the utmost tenacity. Then, the second sure thing, for whatever reason he will stop about ten feet short and will not go a step further. Like I said, he's a Golden Almost Retriever.

I don't know about anyone else, but I find myself living life that way. I start something and don't always quite finish it. While I did finish college, only by the grace of God, I found myself starting every semester with a goal of working really hard and getting amazing grades in all of my classes. I would call my mom every day that I could say truthfully, "Mom, I just wanted to let you know that I still have a 100% in all of my classes.” That usually lasted from the first day to somewhere between my first quiz and the two week mark of the semester. Then I would go to my default goal of passing.

I find this too often in my spiritual life as well. I find myself staring sin down like a matador stares down a bull. I'm determined to grab sin by it's horns and bring it down like the wild beast that it is. I start with the best of intentions and intensity. Then somewhere along the line, I find myself winded and giving up, allowing the very sin I fought to pin me down.

But, by the grace of God I haven't given up. I continue to fight the sin. As rough as the road has been at times, I continue to run the race. By the power of the Spirit, I am ferociously determined not to be a Born Almost Again Christian. I don't want to be a casualty of sin.

While there have been a number of occasions that I have wanted to throw in the towel and give up on what, at the time, seems like a futile fight, there is Something inside of me that won't let me. On just as many occasions, I have been tempted to question my salvation, and according to many of Paul's epistles, rightly so. But one thing that has given me the most assurance during those toughest times, I just can't come to actually giving up. There's something inside me that won't allow me to play dead and give up. And, there's only one answer I have for that, the Holy Spirit.

So, no matter how many times I fall and skin my knees, and I know I will, I know that I will always get back up and will continue to push forward. Not because I'm a super-sweet guy who does awesome at everything, but because I have the power and drive of the Living God dwelling inside of me and He will not let me quit. I believe the Lord has saved me so, just like Paul said in 1 Timothy 1, Jesus Christ could demonstrate His patience and grace to others He will save.
So believers, run with vigor and strength. But, when you fall, be encouraged when you get back up. It wasn't you, but the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within you. For those who have given up and have left Christ, or those who have never even started the race at all, put your trust in Christ and enter into that everlasting relationship with Him. Receive the power to run the race, finish the course and receive the prize of eternal fellowship with God.

Hebrew 12:1-2
Therefore since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne.

In Memory of Donald Hardy: My Grandfather and My Hero

2008-12-10T01:21:00.010-05:00

There are many things that stand out about my grandfather as I think about the section of life that I have had the opportunity to spend with him. Then there are a couple memories that stand out above the rest. One of those are when I was younger and Grandpa sat with me at the dinner table and he told me stories about his time in Iwo Jima. Another was less than two weeks before he passed away, when I had the privilege of taking communion with him for his last time on this side of heaven.

There are several more memories I could share about my grandpa that I will treasure for the rest of my days on earth. Those who knew him all could. There are countless ways that he has touched each one of us. I believe that I can say, without hesitation, that each one of those memories had one underlying theme: Love God with all your heart, soul and mind; and love others as you love yourself.

Grandpa has always been one of my spiritual heroes. As I’ve grown in knowing my grandfather better and as I’ve grown to know my Heavenly Father better, I’ve begun to understand why. Christ, to him, was not a person in a picture in a church or a character in a storybook that sat on his shelf. Grandpa wasn’t a theologian. He would have been the first to admit that. But, he loved God with all of his heart. He sought to know God as best as he possibly could.

In college, I had a talk with him about his spiritual journey. I wanted to know why and how he was such a godly man. I was perplexed because I was hard pressed to find a man, even among a school of theologians, who had such an unadulterated love for God. During our discussion, I had come to find that it was because he a relationship with Christ. When he was a young man, he had accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior. Even my grandpa, as good as a man as he was, knew he needed Christ to be free from the bondage of sin.

Because of this relationship with Christ and love for God, it overflowed into his relationship with all those who surrounded him. I don’t know that there is anyone who has met my grandpa that hasn’t been deeply touched by his love and commitment to God and to his family. These were not obligations to him, but were the things he found the most pleasure in. Ultimately, it was the Fruit of the Spirit being manifested in him.

I have no doubt in my mind that we whose lives have crossed paths with his could go on for days sharing our fondest memories with him, whether it be hearing stories of his time in the war, sitting with him around the camp fire out at the camp grounds, spending time with him on Christmas nights, playing games around the dinner table in the evenings and the list could go on. But, I could think of no greater testament of my grandfather’s life than to see everyone who knew him grow closer to God because of the life that he lived.

Death is but a veil.
Hiding that which is to come;
Presence with Yahweh.

The End of Sin and Death

2008-11-27T02:29:00.000-05:00

In my new found love for poetry, I have recently started exploring the world of free verse poetry. For all you poetry buffs out there, please correct me if I am wrong with my understanding of how free verse works. In this style of poetry, there is no meter, rhyme, breaks or length.

This is the first I am willing to share:

The End of Sin and Death

Oh, what foul deeds are planned,
From the depth of Hell’s dark bowels?
To seek and to kill man’s soul.
To sink deep its wretched teeth,
And feed off man’s depraved mind.
Dark was the day it was loosed.
Glorious the day it was bound.
Yay, even more beautiful the day of its destruction!

Poetry and such

2008-11-27T02:14:00.003-05:00

I have found myself wanting to delve into the world of poetry. I find thoughts of truth and beauty entering and gripping my mind in such a way I feel like I would burst if I couldn't let it out. But at times, I find the words aren't there. At least, not the words to adequately describe what I've felt.

A friend recently introduced me to Haiku. I've only done a few, but I've found this has opened my eyes to a whole new world of writing and I love it. Here are a few I have written:

To the world we go,
Bright and filled with ambition.
Fare thee well, my friend.

Hell finds much delight
In the destruction of a soul
Ruined by sins path.

Death is but a veil.
Hiding that which is to come;
Presence with Yahweh.

Talk about Humbling... 2.0

2008-11-27T01:53:00.001-05:00

To further illustrate the distance of these two galaxies and magnify the wonder and majesty of the power of God, I have put together a few scenarios for you to concider:

If you drove 60mph from here to those galaxies, it would take you 42,533,333,333,333,300 hours. That’s equal to 1,772,222,222,222,220 days of straight driving. That’s equal to 4,855,403,348,554 years of driving without taking any bathroom, rest or eating breaks.

Every mile per hour counts.

If you went just 1 mile an hour slower, it would take you an additional 720,903,954,802,256 hours or 30,037,664,783,428 days or 82,294,972,009 years. That means it’s an extra 1,003,597,220 lifetimes.

It’s also expensive!

If we took my very fuel efficient Honda Civic, it would use up 75,058,823,529,411,800 gallons of gas. Even at today’s rock bottom gas prices of $2.09, that would cost you $156,872,941,176,471,000.00! Good luck Bill Gates.

That’s a long hike!

If you walked, to save the gas money of course, at a casual 5 mph, it would take you 30,624,000,000,000,000,000 seconds or 1,837,440,000,000,000,000,000 minutes or 510,400,000,000,000,000 hours or 21,266,666,666,666,700 days which equals to 58,264,840,182,648 years of nonstop walking. A cat has nine lives. It would take you 710,546,831,496 lives. That is, if you didn’t die early of exhaustion during on of those lives.

Walking is healthy, but that’s rediculous!

If you’re heart beat an average of 85bpm (since it is a leisurely walk and all), your little ticker would have to beat 2,603,040,000,000,000,000,000 times.

“Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand or marked off the heavens with the span of his hand?” (Isaiah 40:12) Surely it is only the Lord of Hosts, Creator of Heaven and Earth, to Whom be all the glory and honor for ever and ever. Amen.

Talk About Humbling...

2008-11-27T01:25:00.002-05:00

I had just written the following two posts a few weeks ago to a friend at work. When I listened to Matt Tubbs message, I was reminded of this and felt led to post it:

I just recently read an article about the Hubble telescope. It was down for a little while after a computer malfunctioned. They just got it working again and released a picture of two galaxies that are 440 million light-years away... To give you a better idea of how far away that is: 1 light-year = 5.8 trillion miles away. That’s a lot of zeros!

"Who will you compare Me to, or who is My equal?" asks the Holy One. Look up and see: who created these? He brings out the starry host by number; He calls all of them by name. Because of His great power and strength, not one of them is missing (Isaiah 40:25,26)... not even the ones 2,552,000,000,000,000,000 miles away. We are small!

Further proof that all things are created for His own glory and pleasure. We just happen to get to enjoy it as well.

Redemption

2008-10-13T01:11:00.001-04:00

Welcome to the trial,
Thus it all begins.
Tongues of brazen fire,
Laced with golden sins.
Sins of great desire,
The compass ever spins.
Losing all direction,
It ends where it begins.

A cant of all the demons,
A marriage made in Hell.
A union of the broken,
Imprisoned by its spell.
Brackish tears now fallen,
In vain its story tell.
Portend of death’s attraction,
With a pardon hard to sell.

A love that’s so clandestine,
Whispered before all days.
Unhinging death as master,
But forsaken in all ways.
Blood becomes the castor,
As the latter takes the place.
Printing grace unbidden,
On Adam’s fallen race.

Diana and Matt

2008-06-01T14:21:00.005-04:00

For the past 23½ years, no one would say the relationship between my sister, Diana, and I have been anything short of trying. Well, at least for my parents anyway. Of course, none of this was my doing. To the best of my recollection, I was on every occasion the recipient of relentless provocation to wrath. OK, maybe not on every occasion.

Basically, we fought like cats and dogs. If there could be a disagreement, we would be diametrically opposed to one another. If there was an opportunity to provoke the other, without hesitation, it would be taken. There was no such thing as a quiet afternoon or a relaxing car ride with us. Every interaction required a theatrical overreaction.

Any onlooker would have been easily misled into thinking we hated each other. We didn’t hate each other. We often detested the presence of the other, but never hated each other. Truth be told, even then, I loved my sister. There is no way I would have let anyone else get away with the way I treated her. In fact, I have always been quite protective (borderline overprotective) of Diana. Once boys started coming around, my sensors went up and I was on the lookout. No guy would ever hurt my sister if I had anything to say about it.

And believe me; I had a lot to say about it.

None of the guys that Diana ever brought home were ever good enough. Quite naturally, I had very high standards for whomever she chose. Some I didn’t trust at all. Some were just plain weird. Whatever the situation, I knew Diana could do better. No matter how long they dated, I remained unwavering in my conviction that I didn’t like the guy. I would give my parents what I thought were undisputable arguments as to why they should forbid her from seeing him. But, Mom would inevitably always say, “He’s a nice boy. You need to give him a chance.” Without regret, I never did. I would try my hardest to like them, but they never won my approval. And, of course, my approval was more important than anyone else’s. Or, at least, so I thought. No one ever agreed. It didn’t matter much though. Eventually, things wouldn’t work out, they would break up and it would be clearly seen that this was for the best.

I state again, Diana has never brought home a guy that I liked. That was until she brought home Matt. I was shocked. I liked him from the start. The more I got to know him, the more he grew on me. Diana had finally found a guy I approved of without hesitation. He was a perfect match for her. He wasn’t a jerk, but he wasn’t a push over either. And, anyone who knows Diana at all knows that she does not need a push over. He was a guy with integrity and character. Well, I guess that actually depends on whether you go by the first polygraph or the second. He fit in great with the rest of the family. In fact, I actually liked hanging out with him. I looked forward to having him come down to the Beach to visit with Mom, Dad and Diana. When I would go home, we would have a great time whether it was biking or watching Family Guy. He became part of our family.

Now, in less than a week they will be getting married. I’m thrilled and couldn’t be happier for either of them. He has a promising future in a highly honorable career as a State Police officer. Most importantly, he has shown an unwavering commitment to loving my sister. I have no doubt in my mind that he will be an excellent husband and, Lord willing in time, a good father of her children.

A Savior On Capitol Hill

2008-05-05T18:24:00.006-04:00

I'm forced on a daily basis at work to watch CNN report on the current Presidential Elections. Frankly, I'm left feeling inclined not to vote at all this year at all. I would if I could choose "none of the above". Not that it even matters with our current voting processes. With all the “chads”, early ballots, super-delegates and the electoral college itself, I hardly feel we have much to do with who gets voted in anyway.

Each of these "candidates" get up and talk about what they "will" do when they become President. I am of the personal opinion that a person cannot get to the position of being a Presidential candidate, much less the President himself, without being a deceiver and a liar to the core. They stand one place for now. Once they start dining with lobbyists, a few dead presidents start to influence them to sing a different song.

I can’t say that I think our current Commander in Chief is any different. I ashamedly admit that I was duped like so many others that “W” was going to be the Christian President to save us from all the liberals. I feel had. Yes. I do respect him as the President. However, that doesn’t mean I have to buy into his mistakes hook, line and sinker either! However, I hear the piper playing his tune and many of the Christians I know follow right along because it’s to the tune of Onward Christian Soldiers. I’m not a pacifist on governmental level (Romans 13:1-4), but I’ve lost confidence in the current war. May I be as bold as to say that there are ulterior in his moves?

Just because I don’t think we will have a “Christian” President, doesn’t mean I’m without hope. Romans 13 also says that Lord sovereignly controls those in charge. So whoever may end up in Office, they are under the control of Yahweh just like Pharaoh was. But don’t expect to be “rescued” by a “Christian” President. During my thinking through this I’m reminded over and over again about a song by Derek Webb on his The Ringing Bell album, A Savior on Capitol Hill.

I’m so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

you can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you’d best beware
’cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

all of our problems gonna disappear
when we can whisper right in that President’s ear
he could walk right across the reflection pool
in his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

you can render unto Caesar everything that’s his
you can trust in his power to come to your defense
it’s the way of the world, the way of the gun
it’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one
so don’t hold your breath or your vote until
you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

If you would like to hear this song, or even the whole album you can hear it at The Ringing Bell. The song I've quotes is on page 9. It'll make more sense when you get there.

Gossip: Like Prayer Requests, Only Juicier

2008-03-15T05:25:00.010-04:00

Lately, I feel like I've been busier than a one-legged puppy dog running from the pound, but I look back and don't really see myself doing any more than normal. I always wondered why the older you get, the quicker time seems to fly. One of my more philosophical roommates came up with a good hypothesis for why this is. When a child is one year old, that's the only year he knows. Once he turns two, that one year is only half of his life now. At three, one year becomes a third of his life. A year has now become an ever shrinking fraction. Once you hit 50, it's only .02 of your life. It really wouldn't seem so long anymore. It's like driving. Here driving 6 miles is a long way. In the north woods of Wisconsin, that's a short trip. From here home, it's a 6 hour drive. For most people, that's way too long. After make the 18-22 hour hike from home to Northland over 30 times, VA to PA just doesn't seem that far anymore.

Heck, I just moved down here a few weeks ago... relatively. The past 5 1/2+ years translates into 67 months or approx 290 weeks. Out of the approx 1,499 weeks that I have been alive, I can understand why! (Just in case you were wondering, my life translates into 28 years, 9 months and 26 days. That is the same as 28.8215 years, which is also 345.8581 months, which is 10,519.8484 days, which is 252,476 hours, which is roughly 15,148,582 minutes. Or, in other words about 908,914,924 seconds. This could also be measured as about 1,090,697,909 heartbeats. I had a little help with http://www.alive.easyabout.com/. I figured it out on my own and was surprisingly accurate... but I wanted even more accurate)

Time is precious. Why do we waste so much of it?

James 4:14
You don't even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are a bit of smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes.

Psalm 39:5
You, indeed, have made my days short in length,
and my life span as nothing in Your sight.
Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor.

Selah

Psalm 144:4
Man is like a breath;
his days are like a passing shadow.

Isaiah 40:6-8
A voice was saying, "Cry out!"
Another said, "What should I cry out?"
"All humanity is grass,
and all its goodness is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flowers fade
when the breath of the LORD blows on them;
indeed, the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flowers fade,
but the word of our God remains forever."

A old college friend recently wrote(in the context of a situation concerning a fallen Brother), "I've heard it said that the 'Christian Army' is the only army in the world that shoots its wounded."

It's amazing how much my eyes have been opened to what Grace is over the past several years. I don't actually exude grace in all my words and actions by any stretch of the imagination. I just know it when I see it... or the lack thereof. It's easy for me to pick on the fundamentalists because that's the group I'm coming out of. But there's no exempt group. But for the sake of example... There was a guy that used to teach a block class on criminal justice at Northland. He and I wouldn't see eye to eye on a lot of theological positions anymore. However, he and I got along great. He actually helped me out a lot in preparing for one of my missionary internships.He was the head of a organization preparing chaplains for prison ministries. He also claimed, for whatever reason, to be a teacher for the FBI academy.

This was a lie.

Once it came to light, he was arrested for impersonating an FBI agent and his testimony and ministry was damaged. I heard most of this through the grapevine. Recently, I researched it, with the help of a friend, so I could get the straight story (By the way, I have spoken with another mutual friend of ours and he has informed me that this man has been broken and has reaped much in consequences from his decisions). After reading an article I found on the subject, I read some of the other readers comments on the article. I was absolutely shocked. I admit I got a laugh out of irony of the situation at times. He was a very outspoken, over-spoken type of guy... a lot of people didn't like him for that. Despite the quirks about him, I liked him. However, at times even I joined in at poking fun at his issues. Looking back, I regret it. However, I never thought I would ever meet someone so brazen as to say some of the things I read in that reply section (and he is not the only man I've seen this happen to).

My mental image is somewhat Daniel-esque. It's that of a man with the ravaging temperament and teeth of a wounded lion. A broken and mangled body hangs lifeless in it's hands. Dark, crimson blood drips from it's razor sharp teeth. The slight flicker of a flame reflects off of a pair of darkened eyes. It's face if filled with exhilaration over it's most recent kill. A bit graphic?

Why a wounded lion? The animal and it's state have been carefully chosen. A lion will always seek out the weakest of it's prey. It will look for the young, the weak and the wounded. It will feed and live off of wounded. A lion when wounded will stalk the easiest prey possible, humans. Wounded lions have been known to ravage and terrorize tribes. Why the teeth? Man at his most depraved state is one who speaks with daggers and knives. Man verbally eviscerates his fellow man to build himself up. Why the eyes? A man who looks at life from this perspective is darkened in his thoughts. Why the flame? He is not only darkened, but is deceived by a lie straight from Hell. What is that lie? That my sin is any less heinous than yours. All this is done at the cost of someone else.

A more accurate picture may be one of a cannibal. Those already weak and wounded are now destroyed and devoured by their very own fellow man.

Should hidden sin be exposed? Sure. Should a brother be called on his sin if he refuses to recognize it's existence? It's the most loving thing to do! But, there's a huge difference between exposing and exploiting. It happens way too often. A "prayer list" becomes the tabloid and a "prayer chain" becomes the paparazzi. There's a total disregard for scriptural, loving confrontation.

Other than the obvious fact that it is built into the fallen nature of man, why does this happen? It's the very same reason millions of people read the National Enquirer or watch Jerry Springer and Judge Judy:

Seeing someone "worse" than them makes them feel better about their failures and eases their conscience about their own sin.

1 Peter 2:1 So rid yourselves of all wickedness, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all slander. Have I ever told you I hate chapter and verse divisions? The chapter division would tell me I can just start with So rid yourselves. But that word So begs me to look at the context. There's more to this than just 2:1...

By obedience to the truth, having purified yourselves for sincere love of the brothers, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again —not of perishable seed but of imperishable—through the living and enduring word of God. For

"All flesh is like grass,
and all its glory like a flower of the grass.
The grass withers, and the flower drops off,
but the word of the Lord endures forever."

And this is the word that was preached as the gospel to you.

So rid yourselves of all wickedness, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all slander. Like newborn infants, desire the unadulterated spiritual milk, so that you may grow by it in [your] salvation, since you have tasted that the Lord is good. Coming to Him, a living stone—rejected by men but chosen and valuable to God— you yourselves, as living stones, are being built into a spiritual house for a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Suddenly, time and speech become closely woven together in the tapestry of the Gospel. Life is but a few, short heartbeats. There is no time in this life for deceit and slander! We are a vapor. We are fading like a blade of grass. But we have been saved by The Living Stone. We have been gloriously redeemed by the Unfading Gospel of GRACE! So let's live like it! Let us, being purified, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again... through the living and enduring word of God!

The Chronicles of a Toothless Man

2008-02-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

Today, inspiration has hit me once again and the feeling is fresh and invigorating! The Lord has been setting the stage for the past week and has finally brought main act to fruition in the past 24 hours. While I’m sure many more lessons will be learned just from the following circumstances, it has become abundantly clear what the Lord has wanted to say to me now. It’s not that He wasn’t saying it before, it’s just that I haven’t been listening. My mom always told me growing up that I had selective hearing. This is obviously no exception. The LORD has a startling, yet gracious way of opening our eyes, ears, hearts and mind when He wants to speak.

The opening act began last Tuesday. The stage was the work break room. The drama was a comedy for most and a tragedy for me. I’m minding my own business, eating my Harris Teeter Tuesday $2.50 sub and enjoying every bit of it. The next thing I know, I hear a pop and I feel something gritty in the sandwich. I finish my bite and I realize my number 8 central incisor tooth (That’s the front tooth) is no longer fixed like it used to be. I didn’t have to be a dentist to realize that my tooth had broken. I would find out later from the surgeon that I must have hit my tooth sometime and it got a minor fracture in it that I never noticed. It just happened to be on that day in that sandwich that my tooth would choose to give up on life and commit tooth suicide. Due to the uncomfortableness of the dangling tooth and inability to sthpeak normally, I chosthe to go home.

I spent the next two days going back and forth between the dentist and oral surgeon. The general consensus is that I need to have what bit of tooth remained removed and get an implant put in its place. Then I was told the price. I was floored. I thought there was no way I could afford it. The rest of my time over these few days were spent at home feeling depressed and pouting. By the weekend, I started to hear a whisper of the Lord speaking and showing me my pride. I won’t go in public because I’m worried someone might mistaken me for a front row guest at a Willie Nelson concert in KY. I’m consumed with how I will pay for such an expensive procedure. Not just that, but I was consumed with
irritation because I will not be able to afford to do all the things that I wanted to do this summer. As I started to hear the Lord speak to me, I starting thinking and told a friend of mine that it’s funny how it’s easy to trust the Lord when I’ve got nothing practical to trust him for. But, come Hell or high water, forget Jesus. I’m looking for a fire extinguisher and a life raft.

By Sunday, I’ve started to see that I need to trust the Lord to provide and to believe that He would. I started feeling a lot more comfortable around people. The people whose opinions mattered most to me were reassuring me that the understood that it was an accident and not bad hygiene. They all did what they could do to assure me that it wasn’t that bad. Some where unconventional, like Les. He cracked jokes. But, I know Les and that’s his way. He really is a good friend. I approached one of my friends during our hand shaking time that night at church. He asked me what happened and since we have about 30 seconds, I gave him a brief “woe is me” and was ready to move on. He mentioned something about some medical tests of his own, but since I was still so self-absorbed, I didn’t think anything more of it. There was no room for his little problems and my life altering dilemma. So one of them had to go. I think you know what happened.

The next scene is on Wednesday. I called up my surgeon’s office to see when they could get me in. Seeing as, in my mind, I was his most important priority (It’s my front tooth! This is an emergency!), I figured he’d have me in the next day, Friday at the very latest. So I ask, “When is the soonest you can get me in?” The receptionist replies, “Next Thursday. I wish you would have called earlier! I would have been able to fit you in today.” I hold my composure for the rest of the call. Once it ended, oh boy!

Anyone who would have seen or heard me for the next hour or so after that would have thought that I had Tourette’s. I was furious. It was a total injustice that I should have to wait more than another week to have my smile fixed. I was convinced that I was an emergency case and that I deserved to be treated in a more timely manor. At the time, I didn’t realize how ridiculous this sounded. Sure, it’s embarrassing to have to walk around without all my teeth. Sure, it’s an inconvenience. But it didn’t warrant the any of my behavior. But, again, I didn’t see that the Lord was just setting the stage (Let me interject, He was not setting me up. He was setting the stage) to learn something bigger.

One more thing needed to be added to give the climactic scene its final touches. Monday, I got my W2 and saw that it was off, and not by just a few dollars. It was off by a lot. I called this friend to get some advise from him about it (and to vent... again, woe is me). He was quite understanding about it. Then he asked me to tell him more about my tooth. He genuinely wanted to know how things were going. He knew it was frustrating for me. That was all I needed to hand out a little more “woe is me”.

Now it was set. The stage was ready. Last night I came home from work still sulking about my horrible woes. Shortly after I got home, I was told that this same friend I spoke to on Sunday and Monday had cancer. I was blown away. He can’t get cancer. He’s too good of a guy! This is another misconception I have of God. I am fooled into thinking that these things happen because God is punishing us for something we did wrong. I was horribly wrong! Had I already forgotten the Gospel? Had I forgotten that every ounce of punishment, wrath and vengeance for my sin was placed on Christ when He died on the cross?

Throughout today I have had more than enough opportunity to think about the past week’s events. The scales started to fall from my eyes and I began to see how foolish I had been acting. I have been acting like the world was coming to an end and I expected everyone to feel the same way. What I should have seen was, it’s just a stupid tooth. I can always get a fake one. It’s just another week. It’s not that big of a deal! So my W2 was wrong. I can get a fixed copy! What blows me away is that it took something as big as my friend getting cancer for me to realize how self-absorbed, prideful and arrogant I had been behaving.

Not only did the Lord use the circumstances to show me the error of my way, but used my friend’s testimony as well. This was of special interest to me. When I was unloading all of my self-absorbed woe on him, he knew that he had cancer yet he was genuinely interested in what was happening with me. I was too busy, however, to even remember that he was going through something. What’s more, he wasn’t going on about the injustice and the inconvenience of his current situation.

He had already started to get the big picture. Since I have known him, I can honestly say he has probably taught, encouraged and rebuked me more than anyone else I know. This was no exception. He already seen that the Lord was working. This was not an act of a sadistic god who did this to punish him. Rather, this was the act of a loving God who allowed this to draw him closer to Him. I was reminded of a song by John Newton that I have prayed in times past, I Asked The Lord.

1. I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

2. Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair

3. I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

4. Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part

5. Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low

6. Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

7. "These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me,
That thou mayest seek thy all in me.

This could easily be mistaken for a story of people overcoming their trials. This could not be further from the truth. Rather, on the surface, it is a story of people being shown the goodness, the mercy and the grace of the Lord of Hosts. On the surface, it is a story of a man being swallowed up in his own selfishness and pride and being rescued by the sovereign working of the almighty God. On the surface, it is the story of a man having his faith tried so he would be drawn to the tender, loving arms of the Heavenly Father. Ultimately, it is a story that has nothing to do with a guy without a tooth or even a guy with cancer. It is an amazing story of the almighty God performing His sovereign will through man for His ultimate glory.

Ode to a Cardmember

2007-08-30T23:26:00.000-04:00

I wrote this while I was at work today. For those who don't know, I'm a bill collector for HSBC Retail Services:

Ode to a Cardmember

O cardmember, cardmember, why'd you do me so wrong?
You said you mailed it yesterday, so it shouldn't be long.
I waited and waited
For the anticipated
Check that you sent, but all hope has now faded.

Seven days later, I now see through your lie!
So say to your credit, "So long!" and "Bye bye!"
Shame on you! Shame!
For it is no game!
So here's some late fees, and you have no one to blame.

"Take off these late fees!" You will call up and say.
"Remove them all now or no more will I pay!"
"It's usury" You'll cry.
But don't even try
To get'em off now because excuses don't fly.

"I've got four mouths to feed and a mortgage to boot."
Feeing your kids, sorry that point is now moot.
For you spend and you spent
At the bar where you went.
I guess you shouldn't have drank to such an extent.

Five months have now gone and you've not paid one cent.
All we've asked you to do is to pay what we've lent.
No blood from a stone,
Not even your own.
Have we asked of you, ma'am, to pay on your loan.

So when can you pay the money you're due?
Beg, borrow, steal. Here's just a few
Ways you can pay
Your money today.
Cutting your cable's another good way.

If you learn one thing about the credit game,
Discover to Chase, they're all the same.
Nothing's for free
In time you'll see
When we get what we gave, that times three.

Hello my old friend

2007-08-28T01:20:00.000-04:00

Ok. It has been quite a long time since I've been on here. Too long, in fact. My ability to get on is still very limited but I am getting a little antsy. I really want to post something again. It's late and I've got a loaded day tomorrow.

Good night all!

She is more precious than jewels

2007-05-13T15:19:00.000-04:00

They say that you don’t realize what you have until you don’t have it anymore. For many, unfortunately, that means losing someone or something permanently. Thankfully for me, in this case, it just meant moving out.

Not too long ago, I wrote about my dad. I told about how he has been a picture of God’s grace to me. As we are now graced with Mother’s Day, I find myself thinking about my momma and what she means to me. There are a lot of things and a lot of examples I could give about what she has done to help make and mold my life. Just like my dad, her life has also been a great picture of God to me. There are many attributes of God that I’ve seen displayed in my mother’s life growing up. The one that I’ve seen most clearly and prominently displayed has been the loving nature of God. And as I watch my mother grow in her Faith and I see her continue her walk with Christ, I have only seen these character traits in her increase.

With good reason, love has been placed first in the list of the fruits of the Spirit, the Scriptural checklist Paul give us to tell who is a genuine Believer.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

While I have seen many of these other things clearly displayed in my mom, love surpasses them all. When you think about it, Love drives and motivates the others. Take long suffering, for instance. I remember many a trips to Reading to visit mommom and poppop and my two wonderful sisters and I were crammed in the back of the “Bobomobile”, as Nicole liked to call it, like a couple of sardines. I still swear that I never provoked any of it. Until someone can prove otherwise, that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it! No matter though. Whoever started it, usually Diana and sometimes Nicole, oddly enough, I was a common denominator in every backseat battle. It was only mom’s long suffering that kept her from taping all of our mouths shut and cuffing us behind our backs.

Summer after summer, it was because of mom’s self-control that I still have all my limbs intact. Had Diana and Nicole not bugged me, I would never have needed to torture them the way I did. Yet everyday, while some punishment did ensue, it took much self-control on mom’s part to not give me what I really deserved.

Throughout the years, it is because of the deep love embedded in mom’s heart that I have routinely seen joy, peace, kindness, goodness and gentleness displayed in mom’s life as well. Many times, I can remember calling home after a tough day in classes at school or a tough day collecting bills and being encouraged merely by the joy in mom’s voice. Countless times, I’ve called home just because I was lonely just and wanted to hear momma’s voice. Nothing is more encouraging than to hear the voice of someone so joyful because you thought to give them a call. She never needed to say much. Just hearing the way she says hello when she realizes it’s me calling home is enough to get me through a lonely day.

But her love exceeds them all. Through everything, there was one thing I have never once doubted about my mom. That is her love. While there were fleeting moments when joy or long suffering wasn’t at its peak, I still knew without a shadow of doubt, that my momma loved me.

In my repertoire of jobs, there was one that made me see even clearer how much my mom overflowed with love. When I had a job working at Philhaven, I worked with kids who, for the most part, just wanted attention and where they needed the most, their mother, they didn’t get it. No matter how much I acted up or misbehaved, I knew Mom would still be there.

As I read through Proverbs 31, I see my mother personified in this:

¹⁰ Who can find a capable wife?
She is far more precious than jewels.

¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.

¹² She rewards him with good, not evil,
all the days of her life.

¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with willing hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from far away.

¹⁵ She rises while it is still night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her servants.

¹⁶ She evaluates a field and buys it;
she plants a vineyard with her earnings.

¹⁷ She draws on her strength
and reveals that her arms are strong.

¹⁸ She sees that her profits are good,
and her lamp never goes out at night.

¹⁹ She extends her hands to the spinning staff,
and her hands hold the spindle.

²⁰ Her hands reach out to the poor,
and she extends her hands to the needy.

²¹ She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all in her household are doubly clothed.

²² She makes her own bed coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.

²³ Her husband is known at the city gates,
where he sits among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She makes and sells linen garments;
she delivers belts to the merchants.

²⁵ Strength and honor are her clothing,
and she can laugh at the time to come.

²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and loving instruction is on her tongue.

²⁷ She watches over the activities of her household
and is never idle.

²⁸ Her sons rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also praises her:

²⁹ "Many women are capable,
but you surpass them all!"

³⁰ Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised.

³¹ Give her the reward of her labor,
and let her works praise her at the city gates.

Mom, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and how much your love for your family inspires me to love even more. You are truly more precious than jewels. There are many great women and mothers out there, but you surpass them all. I love you.

What's the dealio?

2007-05-05T04:06:00.004-04:00

Ok. I see that visits are still coming in. Is there more writer's block? No. Not necessarily. In fact, I've been finding quite the opposite recently. Not necessarily in writing, per se, but rather in multiple areas of expression: musically, artistically and literarily. The difference between me expressing my onslaught of recent creativity is availability.

Recently the Lord has opened the door to a closet of creativity in my mind I never knew was there. With no other outlet of mental escape, trapped in my cage of called a cubicle, I’ve made drawing a place of retreat for my mind. A person can only take so many people yelling at him about their problems and how it is his company’s fault that they are not making good decisions. Ah, the degradation of ethics and responsibility of our American culture displayed before my very eyes in the form of a 120 day, past due Bowflex account with a $1,415.33 balance (Don’t worry HSBC, I made up this figure… no smuggling account information from this employee). But I will save my woes for another post. Between the 500 or so, “He’s not home.”’s, “She’s in the shower’s”’s and “I told you #*%&@’s to stop calling me!”’s, a drawing of a face or hand begins to take form. After one final “I’m not interested!”, my Picasso is complete!

At home, my guitar has been finding itself producing chords and progressions it has never expressed before. After practicing several new songs to prepare for summer singspirations, I’ve learned a lot of new chords and some new (unofficial) guitar and music theory. Inspired by my musical heroes and newly found chords, I’ve managed to write some new music. I’ve been finding myself quite delighted over my recent musical outbursts. Recently, I’ve been working on a song about the death and resurrection of Christ. Most of you will probably never hear it… count your blessings!

Writing. Ah, yes! My old friend. Why haven’t I been writing? What has happened is availability or rather the lack thereof. I have found myself without a computer as of late. So, many of my literary rantings have found themselves, unfortunately, trapped within my head. A few have made desperate cries and have found themselves being poured out on paper by way of pencil. That is definitely not my favorite way of writing. Hopefully circumstances will change soon and I will be free to paste my thoughts to my simple www.home once again. Until then, we must wait patiently for more.

Patience. A commodity not too many people have enough of, especially myself. Maybe it’s because I am so self-centered. I’ve recently given this mindset a new term: meocentricity (mee-oh-sen-tri-sity: 1.the belief that the universe revolves around one’s self.* 2. the thought that everything that ever was, is and will be leads to one thing. Me.*) The Lord has made this almost as clear to me as the water in a mountain spring. I have spent years fixed one speck of my life which looked to me more like a mere “character flaw” only to be jerked back by the loving hand of God to reveal a thriving cesspool of iniquity and pride.

The end.

Thank the Lord it is not! What a pitiful tragety that would be. “But where sin multiplied, grace multiplied even more.” Rather than being left to fall broken into a pit despair and hopelessness, the Lord has given me renewed hope and strength. While the Lord shows me the iniquity I have been party to, He also has taught me about the grace He has poured out on me through the sacrificial blood of Christ.

Jerry Bridges in his book, The Pursuit of Holiness, writes about balance. We are to be balanced in our understanding of the sanctification process. We are to understand that the Lord does the work of sanctification. However, we are to work for it. We labor and He gives the fruit. Amazing grace! Not only has Christ giving me justification through His blood, but he has giving me power to overcome the world as well!

As I have focused my personal study on reading and rereading the book of Ephesians. My encouragement and strength is renewed as I read chapter 1 where Paul prays for the Ephesian saints. In that prayer, he explains to them that the power that works in them is the VERY SAME power that has been “demonstrated…in the Messiah by raising Him from the dead and seating Him at His right hand in the heavens — far above every ruler and authority, power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the one to come.” If that doesn’t excite you, you need to check to see if you’re heart is still beating.

But why? Why does all of this have to happen? Why doesn't God just save us and make us instantly perfected. If you haven't seen it yet, the answer is simple! So God can bring all glory to Himself. To shift meocentricity to Theocentricity.

So, with this I bring my most recent attempt at a post to a close. My brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ, the Messiah, be humbled by your still-present, fallen nature. But even more so, be greatly encouraged! “He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

* This may not be said out loud or even in the person’s head. It may be manifested merely by their actions.

Scripture quotes are taken from:
Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Where have all the good posts gone?

2007-05-05T02:18:00.000-04:00

Q. Have you deleted your posts?

A. No. I've shortened the time it takes for you to load the page. Please consult my growing archives for more rantings.

A Picture of God's Love

2007-02-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I had an opportunity to go home to PA. What made this trip different than any of my other trips? I’m glad you asked. Tom, my stepdad, has a birthday coming up in March. About a month or two ago, I came up with the idea to take him to a hockey game for his birthday. Why hockey? Neither of us are huge fans of hockey. When I was growing up, he would take me to see the Hershey Bears, our local semi-pro team, play every year. We would start the night by going to dinner at the restaurant of my choice. For the first several years, that turned out to be Friendly’s, where I would order multiple items on the menu and gorged myself for approximately an hour and left him with a bill that would be equal to a family of four. Then we would go to the game and watch the pucks and fists fly for three periods and then go home. It was some of my fondest childhood memories. Not because I got to eat like a pig or watch some guys prove their masculinity by beating the tar out of each other for an hour or so, but because I got to hang out with Tom. This was only one of the many things we did together. Most of my favorite times growing up were spent hanging out and just talking with Tom.

This is where I need to start changing my names. See, growing up through my high school years, I always called him Tom. I loved him like a dad, but looked at him like a stepdad. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that and he didn’t mind. However, it during my freshman year, I had an epiphany (definition 3 in Merriam-Webster and The Oxford Dictionary). Why was I still calling him Tom after 15 years? He was the one who had raised me since I was three or four. Yes, my real father was and is still around. And yes, I love him as a father (I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him!). But Tom has been the person who has played the role of father for all of my life. Not only was he the one who provided my basic needs like food and shelter, but he had been the one to take me to the hockey and football games. He had been the one who endured sitting through the baseball and basketball games that I “played”. He was the one who taught me how to ride a bike and drive a car. He had been the one who made sure I got my homework done and grounded me when I lied about it. He was the one who helped me pay to go to a college that wouldn’t take student loans. He encouraged me to do better when I came home with bad grades and was there to praise me when I finally graduated. When I pulled my Magnum Opus of April Fool’s pranks and told him that I had been arrested on bench warrant for not paying a speeding ticket, the first thing he said was, “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be ok. We’ll help you take care of this somehow.” When I went through my first breakup, he was the one who took me out for a drive and tried to encourage me. He has always been there through all the good and all the bad.

With all of this on my mind, I had decided that when I went home for my first spring break, I would ask him a question. I was nervous asking. I even asked my mom if she thought he would mind and she was sure that he would be more than happy. When I asked him if I could call him Dad, I found out she was right. Then I thought to myself, “Why wouldn’t I call him dad?” And my mind began to race through all of the memories. The fun and games as well as the not so fun and the punishments. When I thought about Proverbs, he had been the one fulfilling of role it describes as father. It was a odd transition at first to call him dad. I think it was for him too. At first, it would take two or three times for him to respond to an 18 year old guy calling for him by the name Dad.

Since then I’ve had another epiphany. He has also been a picture of God’s love for me. Many people grow up with stepfathers who they just get along with and many others who they don’t like at all. Many people grow up with stepfathers who treat them like stepchildren. Dad was different. I was not his own child, but he took me in as if I was. I did nothing to deserve it. He would have been just to treat me as a stepchild; as merely an obligation because he married my mother. But he didn’t. I actually probably did more not to deserve it than I did to deserve it. Between both the ink incidents (a good story for another time), the constant hyper activity, the bad grades, bugging both my sisters and/or making them cry on very regular occasions, the car accidents, the speeding tickets, stealing money, lying right to his face, experimenting with smoking and drinking before I was legally allowed, sitting at a PSU football game (when I was younger of course!) with a blanket over my head repeating “They’re gonna lose. They’re gonna lose.”, being the only kid in the outfield sitting with his back to the game with his glove on his head, it really makes you wonder what was wrong with him that he was willing to claim me as his own. But he did. This is what made me see the picture of God’s love. While we never went through the adoption process, he basically adopted me as his own (Ephesians 4:5). He was the one who punished me for my own good when I did wrong (Hebrews 12:6-13). He was the one who provided for me when I had needs (Matthew 7:7-11). He is truly my father and I am his son. I could not and would not ask for a better father.

Just like my dad, the Father has chosen to adopt me as a son. I did nothing to earn it. I actually don’t deserve it. Now as a child of the Living God, I am the recipient of all the provisions, blessings and corrections that come with being His child. Because He sacrificed His son, and has chosen me to accept His gift of salvation and adoption, I am confident that I will have all eternity to enjoy Him forever.

Many people have a hard time understanding God as a loving Father because they did grow up with anyone setting that example for them. I am more thankful than words can say that for the past 25 years and counting, I did have that example of a loving father in my life.

Dad, I love you and thank you for taking me in as your son and being an example of God’s love to me. I am more grateful than words can say. You have impacted my life more than you will ever know.

Pleasure In Pain

2007-02-14T23:42:00.000-05:00

To all my blogger friends out in the vast blogger world. I appreciate your questions and encouragement during my recent writing drought. It is encouraging to hear that there are those of you who regularly check my page to see if there are any new updates. I really understand the feeling. It's like when I go to www.homestarrunner.com excited to see a new cartoon. There should be something new, right? Then my head hangs as I see nothing except the main page background has changed. Or like when I check my new podcasts to see if there is a new Don't Be That Guy episode up. Alas, my only new updates are another 16 episodes of Insight For Living.

Maybe it's not that disappointing for you, but I still understand. I guess maybe the drought continues with only a drizzle here and there, but no real downpours of inspirational thoughts or writings. I guess part of it also has to do with my life being virtually turned upside down as of late. All sorts of changes are taking place right now with home, church and work (no I'm not leaving any of them at the moment). It has been making me feel like Elasti-boy. It's been 130% stretching and 70% encouraging. Whatever it is, it has been taking twice the patience and strength I have to offer.

I guess what is most encouraging is, I know that the Lord is at work. And if He's at work, then that means I am His. His forging fires are frequent and often unpleasant to pass through, but the end product is more than worth the fires and the forging. While scales of self and pride are painfully peeled off, what is left is a tender, broken and consequently usable being. In that state of usability is found true joy, peace and contentment for it is found alone in Christ.

I Asked The Lord

I asked the Lord that I might Grow
In Faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His Face

Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer,
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request,
And by His love's constraining pow'r
Subdue my sins and give me rest.

Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart,
And let the angry pow'rs of Hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe,
Crossed all the fair designs I scheemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low.

Lord why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt Thou pursue thy Worm to death?
"Tis in this way" the Lord replied,
"I answered prayer for grace and faith."

"These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free,
and break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me,
That thou mayest seek thy all in me.

- John Newton

Writer's Block

2006-12-08T04:42:00.001-05:00

Writer's block. All writer's get it at one point or another. I've had cases of it in the past but this one has hit me harder than Terry Tate on an office guy. My counter creeps up closer to 1000 visits every day. In fact, today, it is at 997. Now, there can be a couple explanations for the number being so high. 1. That many people actually want to see what I've written. 2. (a little more likely)there's been about 200 actual hits on the page and the other 797 hits are accounted for by accidental viewings (you actually meant to go to boanerges - it's really OK. Nate does have more content) and me reloading the page 20 times a day to see if I had any more hits.

Well, whether you're here to actually purposely came here to read what I've written or you've stumbled on it by accident or you are just loading the page to inflate my visitor counter, I'm posting again. This doesn't necessarily mean that the writer's block is gone, it just means that I made like a college term paper and decided to write fluff. Unlike a college paper though, you may come across something worth reading. Also, I must insert here that it's not that I haven't actually started working on blog entries since Monday, October 23. I've written a few things actually. Not one of them really made me feel that they were worth posting (or finishing for that matter!). And the posts that have been amazing, worthy to be viewed as one of the greatest contributions to American... no. World literature never really seemed to stick in my mind long enough to get it home and on the computer. Here's the scene. I'm sitting at my desk at work and the most amazing works I could possibly ever write would come to my mind. Only it must have leaked out of my ears somewhere between there and home because every time I had the opportunity to write, I had either totally forgotten about it or couldn't remember what it was. So, I've been dry as the Sahara for the past month.

I am encouraged in the fact that some of the greatest writers, musicians and artists break their worst cases of writer's block with some of their greatest works. I guess I can hope that this may turn into Mr. Wetzel's Opus.

In an attempt to be open and transparent, I must say that my writing skills haven't been the only thing running dry lately. It's strange that one minute you can be walking in the lands of fruitfulness, spiritually speaking, and in you're very next step be stomping your way through a desert with no sign of rest or refreshment as far as the eye can see.

We all go through that. The hardest ones to deal with are the long ones. Yeah, you may stumble over an occasional water hole, but it seems like ages since you've tasted of the deep, cool waters of true Joy in Jesus Christ, since you've been refreshed by the fulfilling Word of Christ. You feel as if you cannot take one more step out of exhaustion. You want to sit and wait for death to come, yet something(or someone) prods you to continue plodding along. It gives you no guarantee that it will end soon, only that it will, indeed, end. It is in that confidence that with your remaining few ounces of energy, you push on like Shasta and Breehy-hinny-brinny-hoohy-hah through the desert, with Mount Pire as their guide, from Tashbaan to Archenland with only the thought of reaching Narnia in their their minds.

Surely, I can come up with a few biblical characters who have experienced dry desert or valley experiences only to come out the other side to face their greatest mountain peaks. Job endured loss more than any of us will probably experience, only to be blessed greater than ever before. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own flesh and blood, thrown into jail only to become one of the highest ranking leaders in Egypt. Moses faced imminent death, only to be saved by Pharaoh's daughter. He spent time in the desert only to lead Israel across the Red Sea and to freedom. Israel wandered 40 years through the desert to, at the end of their journey, end up in the Promised Land. Jonah spent three days in the belly of the whale only to do the greatest ministry of his life, leading the wicked Ninevites to revival. These last two are probably the closest and best examples since their valleys were, for the most part, brought on by their own actions, yet the Lord remained patient with them and eventually blessed them.

The Lord has also given us more concrete hope in His Word. I Corinthians 10:13- "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." God has not put us in an desert or valley He has not already planned a way through. Not only that, but will give us the very strength we need to do it! Philippians 1:6- "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." With this I place all my hope and confidence. God is not finished with me. There is more and greater things to come for His honor and his glory. That is my Mount Pire as I plod through this desert. It is with this energy I endure.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

The majestic and mundane

2006-10-23T03:47:00.000-04:00

My adrenalin rushes as the wind blows through what little bit of hair I have. My eyes are wide open soaking in the spots of blinding, golden light randomly braking through the gaps in the tall, sturdy trees. Where golden light doesn’t flow, it is filled in with a light washed in emerald by the foliage towering overhead. My muscles are on fire from the energy spent tooling along the well worn bike trail. The crisp air burns my lungs as they are refilled with much needed fresh air. It is amazing how much more air is needed when you are pushing your way through a six mile trail of ups and downs, bumps and roots, mud and clay, rocks and logs. To top it all off, during the whole time, I am serenaded by a surround sound song of birds and blowing wind no THX system could touch. To some this sounds ridiculous and like a waste of time, to others it is pure elation. For me it is the latter.

It is during this kind of exercise every man is confronted with the fact that he is not one of those in The Fellowship of the Ring. What? I know. What do fictional characters in middle earth have to do with three average guys biking in a national park in Williamsburg, VA you ask? My answer: Every man, at this point, is confronted with the fact that he cannot, as our friends of the fellowship, go at full force forever, especially when you happen to be what most people would call… husky. So, I did what any music loving, biker (or should that be any biking, music lover?) would do. I pulled out my handy, dandy iPod (seriously, you need to get one), and I put in the only logical musical selection for the current circumstances. Within seconds, I’m worshiping with one of my favorite hymn writers, David Crowder. I’d explain this last sentence more, but that is an article for my music page. Within moments my energy and vigor is restored as my toxin induced muscle pain goes away and I become intoxicated with a joy in Christ.

Soon my intoxication turns into joyful inebriation. I find myself singing joyous praise to the Lord without concern or worry of who hears it or what they think of it for that matter. Over the next 2 ½ miles I worship joyfully and out loud to Intoxicating, How Great, No One Like You and finishing my 6 mile loop with Reprise. I couldn’t have asked for a better afternoon. Even my ½ mile trip back to the car was filled with praise and worship as I rode my bike with hands extended to the sky and my eyes intermittently closed (intermittently being key to a safe arrival to my car) singing to All Creatures#2, a beautiful version of All Creature of Our God and King.

Minutes later, however, life would resume. I would put my keys in the ignition and the mundane would resume. Would worship continue during this time? Or would I simply, without surrender, resume my thoughts of everyday life. I’m not implying here that the necessary and often, ironically enough, mundane things of life can or should be neglected. That would be irresponsible. But would I let the mundane things swallow up my worship?

See, He is God during both the majestic as well as the mundane and equally worthy of praise during either. My circumstances can’t be what dictate my level of praise, though it often does. Even now, my mind, while I try to keep it focused on Christ, is being torn away to conversations and situations that weigh heavy on me. And, in that, I am reminded even more of those who endured difficult situation, in which my circumstances look like mere child’s play. Then again, their Christ-like reaction would be why they are called “men of whom the world is not worthy.”

Christ is Lord and worthy of our praise no matter what the situations or circumstances, reactions or feelings. So, as you go into this next week and you face the boring and mundane, the difficult and stressful, let your heart be turned to praise just as it would during the exciting and exhilarating, the simple and joyful.

Our time is but a vapor

2006-10-16T14:03:00.000-04:00

I've been confronted this weekend with thoughts on time and how quickly it passes. Time moves on inevitably. It goes on day to day, moment by moment with no regard to what we do with it. Time is fair, in that we all have the same amount given to each of us, 24 hours a day, 365 days in a year. No man buys more time with any amount of worldly goods he has. Time is also unsympathetic, in that it waits for no one and there is no going back. What you have purchased with your time here thus far cannot be refunded or returned. It cannot be traded or fixed. What you have bought affects what you are now and will have effects on what you will be in the future.

You have two options. One is to grasp hold and get as much out of time as possible. The other is to let it slip through your hands. Either way, it is in your grasp.

Two things have come up this weekend that have drawn my mind towards what I have and have not done with my time and what will be of my future. Saturday night, I was with some friends and we watch the movie, Click with Adam Sandler. While his acting is improving, some of his jokes still need to be cleaned up a bit. But, that’s not for this post. I was quite impressed by the premise of the movie. He plays the part of an architect who sacrifices family for business. He gets a remote that allows him to skip to whatever he wants, whether it’s dinner with family or the next promotion. The next thing he knows, he’s on the ground dying. He began to realize after a few jumps that he was losing his whole life waiting for the next big thing instead of making the most of his time now. The next phase in life comes quickly enough without the help of a magical remote.

That leads me to the other event, the video above, that made me think about my time. You see a guy who looks about 20 years old, in five minutes time, become 26. It was quite impacting as I thought back on my life and how the past 6 years really only seem to be like 5 minutes. Likewise, the next 6 years will pass just as quickly.

What am I doing with my time to grab hold and ride it for all it’s worth. While the movie had other thoughts in mind, like making the most of your time with your family, I have other thoughts in mind. Don’t get me wrong. Family is important and you shouldn’t ruin your family life over a job. But, my focus is, what have I done for Christ in the past 6 years of my life? What will I have done in the next 6 years? If I can fast-forward to the end of my life, will I find that I have lived life to the fullest for Christ, or will I have squandered it and regretting my choices?

Eph 5:11-16
Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says, "Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you." Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

James 4:13-15
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."

II Cor 5:8-10
We are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

We are called to make use of the time that we have on earth. We are to live it in full abandon to Christ, making most of the time by using it to serve Him. Those things tempting to use up and waste your time are fleeting. They’ll be worthless and forgotten in 6 years. But the life lived in abandon for Christ will have no regrets. That will be life filled with contentment and satisfaction. Instead of thinking to himself, “What happened to these last six years?” he will be rejoicing what the Lord has done in his life during that time.

Let us abandon our selfish pursuits. They won’t matter in six years, much less in eternity. Let us redeem the time and live in total abandon to Christ.

Biking Blunders

2006-10-10T20:32:00.000-04:00

Ok. So I went biking again today. I don't think I was supposed to have fun on this trip. First, part of the way there I realize I forgot my wallet. Oh, well. No big deal I guess. I get to the part in Newport News (too long of a drive) where the park on the pamphlet is located. No fee parking! Yeah! So get my bike off the rack and go to put on my headphones... someone should tell Sony that their ear buds come off too easy. No big deal. I can just listen with the one bud left.

I hit the track with enthusiasm anticipating a sweet scenic single track but met a wide sand trail with a tree fallen across the path to top it off. No big deal. I can go around it. I quickly find out the bike that I had just got tuned up and adjusted wasn't quite as adjusted as I thought. It had troubles going into the 3rd gear in the front and just plain refused to go into the 1st or 8th on the back. No big deal. I can get it fixed tomorrow. The trail progressively gets worse with more sand and eventually a gunky, muddy area I can only describe as a swamp. Now I'm starting to lose my optimism. But hey, things could be worse.

I finally get back to my car glad to have my bike out of that mess (it was sand that messed up my breaks and gears in the first place). I get all packed up and start to leave. As I leave, I see and middle aged man dressed in typical fishing gear: a vest with hooks and lures all over it and an orange hat graced with a few more lures (what is he planning on catching anyway?!). I see him start to walk back on this sweet looking wooden deck/path on the other side of the road. Then I thought to look at my directions again. "The entrance to the trail starts on the opposite side of the road from the parking lot." Ugh! What the heck was that "trail" I just wasted my last bit of sunlight on?! I'm getting a little frustrated by this point.

Well, atleast I can go home now and relax... that was until I saw my car was on "E". No big deal, I'll just get to the gas station which has a low price of $1.96, the lowest I've paid in a long time! I get there and get out of my car and reach for my wallet so I can pay for the precious gas I so desperately need... no wallet.

I get into my car with no clue what to do. I look in my cup holder and find 2 quarters, 2 nickles and 4 pennies. Even if I had the nerve to go into station and ask for $.64 of gas, there was no getting home on that. I was actually a little below the "E". Was there any break to come for me today?

Alas! There was a ray of light... coming from the compartment below my CD player in the form of 2 gift cards from Walmart I had won at work. But did they have any money left? I would have to take a chance and find out.

So, I pull up to the Walmart gas station and pull out the cards and slide the first one into the slot with a prayer. $1.36 credit. Phew! That's a good start! I gas the money out of that card and move onto the next one: $2.39 credit! I can get home! A break had finally come.

And I sit here at home thankful. Thankful that I was provided with just enough to get me back and maybe a trip to work tomorrow morning... I hope!

3 Days in Hell

2006-10-05T00:38:00.000-04:00

About a week ago, I started to meditate on Christ's three days in the tomb. I've always thought about the creeds that say, "and Christ descended into hell, and on the third day he rose again."

Well, I've always just assumed that He went and suffered through Hell for us for three days and at the end when time was up, He just simply left. Could there be more to it than that? Obviously, it's all speculation. Did He actually, during those three days, do battle royal with Satan and during that time defeat the gates (councils/powers) of Hell?

I really hate to go into too much speculation because it doesn't say, but I have a hard time believing that nothing happened. I was talking with Mike Osborne about it. He said that during that time, Christ preached His victory to the demons. I'm not exactly sure where he's getting it. I'm not saying he's making it up, I just don't know where his basis for that comes from.

What are your thoughts?

The Lame Descendant of an Enemy

2006-10-01T16:11:00.000-04:00

I just recently bought a CD called Sounds of Melodies by Leeland. As I was listening to the last song, Carried to the Table. I’m not sure that it has to do with what I was reminded of, but my mind was drawn to 2 Samuel 9 with the story of Mephibosheth:
Then David said, "Is there yet anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan's sake?" Now there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba, and they called him to David; and the king said to him, "Are you Ziba?" And he said, "I am your servant." The king said, "Is there not yet anyone of the house of Saul to whom I may show the kindness of God?" And Ziba said to the king, "There is still a son of Jonathan who is crippled in both feet." So the king said to him, "Where is he?" And Ziba said to the king, "Behold, he is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel in Lo-debar." Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, from Lo-debar. Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and prostrated himself. And David said, "Mephibosheth." And he said, "Here is your servant!" David said to him, "Do not fear, for I will surely show kindness to you for the sake of your father Jonathan, and will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul; and you shall eat at my table regularly." Again he prostrated himself and said, "What is your servant, that you should regard a dead dog like me?" Then the king called Saul's servant Ziba and said to him, "All that belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master's grandson. "You and your sons and your servants shall cultivate the land for him, and you shall bring in the produce so that your master's grandson may have food; nevertheless Mephibosheth your master's grandson shall eat at my table regularly." Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants. Then Ziba said to the king, "According to all that my lord the king commands his servant so your servant will do." So Mephibosheth ate at David's table as one of the king's sons. Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica. And all who lived in the house of Ziba were servants to Mephibosheth. So Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he ate at the king's table regularly Now he was lame in both feet.

Back in July, on one of the hottest day of the year, I took two ladies from work to see Washington DC. They were in from England to train my team in a new project, and I thought it would be nice to show them around the city.

The one thing that they wanted to see was the White House. First, we went to a few different monuments and made our way to the White House. When we arrived, we apparently just made it in enough time to see people being kicked out of the viewing area. When we approached the officer, he told us that they were having a dinner party on the lawn and they wouldn’t allow people in the vicinity until the party was over. That didn’t happen until after we left.

An obvious fact is, I will probably never get to dine with any of the Presidents of the United States. There’s really no reason for him to invite me. I’m not a political guru, and I really don’t have anything to offer that the President would feel inclined to invite me. People who are invited are invited because they have a good reason to be there, whether that is because they are family or an important political figure.

Imagine, if you will, King David not only inviting someone who doesn’t have anything to offer, but someone who is the descendant of the previous king who attempted, on several occasions, to kill him. David had no reason to invite Mephibosheth, the lame descendant of an enemy, to dine with him, much less sit at his table on a regular basis just like he was family.

I was meditating on that in relationship to our standing with the Lord. He had no reason to choose us. We were children of death. We hated God. We were worse than crippled, we were dead in our trespasses. Until He loved us, we hated Him. We had nothing to offer. We, being foolish creatures apart from what He has given to us, have no wisdom that we can advise or counsel God, the Creator of all things, in any way at all.

Isaiah 40:12-15-Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, And marked off the heavens by the span, And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, And weighed the mountains in a balance And the hills in a pair of scales? Who has directed the Spirit of the LORD, Or as His counselor has informed Him? With whom did He consult and who gave Him understanding? And who taught Him in the path of justice and taught Him knowledge And informed Him of the way of understanding? Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket, And are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales; Behold, He lifts up the islands like fine dust.

Yet, out of His kindness and mercy he has called us out and has chosen us to be part of the Church, the bride of Christ. We were not just merely descendants of an enemy of the King, we were enemies ourselves. Our hearts, minds and wills were bent against the Lord. Let Mephibosheth be a humbling reminder of the grace shown to us by the King, Lord of Hosts, Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe.

Lessons From A Child: Acting Without Thinking

2006-09-18T09:44:00.000-04:00

Probably the costliest illustration of this was a time when I was probably about 12 years old. I had arrived home from school only to realize that I had once again forgotten my house keys. I would arrive home at about 3:30pm from school and I would have about an hour’s wait before my mom would be home. That’s 59 minutes too long for a kid with ADHD (hard to believe I had that, huh?).

So I had to figure out a way out to get inside. Trying to get Heidi, our pet keeshond, to unlock the door to proved unsuccessful on previous occasions when I came home keyless. Well, I happened to be a big fan of MacGyver. It was only days earlier that I had watched him take the spring of a pen, uncoil it and effortlessly pick a lock. So, I figured since I watched him do it, how hard could it be?

Almost as easily as he picked the lock, I figured out I couldn’t. Once I became enlightened that my last name is Wetzel and not MacGyver, I had to figure out something to do with the rest of my time, so the thing that seemed most rational for me to do at that point was to take the tip off the pen and allow the ink to drip right outside of our back door. (FAQ: Q:What would make you think that’s rational? A: The answer remains unchanged. I really don’t know.) This occupied my attention for a few minutes and I quickly forgot about it and moved onto something else.

The story picks up later that evening. I’m downstairs and I hear my mom scream like someone just broke into the house. Remember that Keeshond I told you about earlier? When she wanted to come back in the house after being left out in the back yard to do run around and do things dogs do when left outside, she would jump up at the back door. Apparently dog paws make great stamps. When my mom left her in, she left a corresponding blue paw print with every step she took. Naturally, my mom yelling at her made her scared and she ran around more leaving behind more blue paws.

Did I happen to mention earlier that they had just gotten new carpet about 5 days prior to this event? My dad quickly picked her up and placed her outside until the messy situation could be dealt with. For whatever reason, my mom quickly assumed that I somehow had something to do with this and as I was so often summoned into her presence, I heard, “David William! Get up here right now!” with a just enough dramatic pause between to the last two words to keep the intensity and make even me understand it meant that I should come instantly.

My mom began to use a very effective, and often used, tool to get me to confess to things that I did that I shouldn’t have done. Really, she didn't need to ask. That had my signature all over it. I think she knew but just wanted to hear me say it. She asked, “David, did you do this?”

I replied with puppy dog eyes, “No.”

“David William, did you do this?”

I quickly retorted, “No!”

She tilted her head slightly, put her hand on her waist and asked, “David, are you being honest?”

Hoping that the inevitable wouldn’t happen I answered, “Honest, mom!”

Then it was clear that she was using her honesty tactics to pull the truth from me because her eyes widened with intensity and she asked me yet again with her teeth barred shut, “DAVID, did you do this?” pointing at the blue line of paws going from the door to the living room.

“NO!”

By that point my face was most likely showing a bit of concern because I feared that this would continue until I confessed. Even if I hadn’t done it, the questioning usually would continue until I had confessed. That particular situation, oddly enough, never arose.

Somehow I managed to withstand another three minutes of, “David did you do this?” teamed with a myriad of frustrated and intimidating facial expressions. My parents found out the truth a few days later when I, for whatever reason, decided I thought it would be a good idea to tell my Aunt Sue what had happened, MacGyver and all. I wasn’t really the smartest kid in school. Somehow I thought that she wouldn’t go straight to my parents and tell them what happened.

Later that night, there was Hades to pay. They demanded the truth. So I told them... most of it. I told them that the pen had accidentally broken and started to leak while trying to be like my favorite TV character. It was only about a year or two ago that they found out the real and complete truth. I figured that it was far enough removed after 14 years that they wouldn’t be too upset anymore.

I had mindlessly committed this offense against my parents carpet. I thought nothing of the repercussions of my actions before I had done it. Thankfully my sister had learned in school that you can get ink up with hair spray and my mom managed to get the stains out, but the lesson still remains. My actions, as small or simple they may seem at the time, can have long lasting and destructive effects. The difference between standing on the edge of a cliff and enjoying the view and falling to your death is one small step.

How often is this the same situation in our spiritual walk. I’ve often found myself sinning against the Lord without even really thinking anything about it. It’s no big deal, right? So I lied to my parents. The ink came out of the carpet. Reality:It was no different than Adam simply taking a bite out of an apple. Small action, big deal, severe consequences.
Romans 5:12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned”
Revelation 21:8 "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."
My simple lie to my parents was an offense against a holy God punishable by death. And because we don’t have the repercussions in mind when we sin, we mindlessly commit the act.

If my mother had been standing there ready to dish out punishment on me, I’m sure I wouldn’t have pulled the tip off the pen in the first place. If death were hanging there as an immediate and clear reaction to our sin, we would probably think again about choosing to sin. I understand we are sinners and we will sin anyway at some point. But, I think we would be a lot more careful if death were dangled in front of us.

To make it worse, not only does my sin deserve and bring about death, it brought about death to the Sovereign Creator of the universe. Because He decided to show graciousness to us, he bore the wrath that was a direct punishment of each of our sins both great and small. With this in light, how can we continue to mindlessly and without remorse (at least during the sin) commit sin?

My excuse has on many occasions been that it’s harder because He isn’t literally standing there as I sin. First, literally, He is there (Psalm 139). Just because you don’t see Him doesn’t mean He isn’t there. Second, 2 Corinthians 5:9 tells us that we must still just as diligently work to please Him.
“Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.”

Let us consider what our sin really is and what it really does. No sin is small. We get caught up in a human scale of what sins are worse than another sin. Sin, in it’s essence, is all the same. It is a rebellion against a holy God. And even though we may not have considered it at the time of the offence, it is that rebellion that has brought the penalty of death.

Stage Fright

2006-09-07T19:57:00.000-04:00

Now, the stage fright begins to set in. I sit at the computer, palms sweaty, unsure of the next letter to type.

Nate Mihelis was kind enough not only to place me on his blog links, but he dedicated an entire blog entry to me. I guess I'm going to have some higher expectations now since I will be getting some more views (that entry would probably explain the spike in visits in the past few days - I do follow it closely).

So, in thanks, I dedicate this blog to you, Nate Mihelis, third son of Thunder (Boanerges 3?). I hope you and all the other visitors henceforth enjoy my upcoming (and feel free to peruse the previous) posts. They are all written for your enjoyment and edification... and frankly, I love writing them.

Dave
Editor-in-chief
Boan-head-erges: Sons of blunder

Truths from the Garden

2006-09-04T20:28:00.000-04:00

Genesis 3:17-19 "Then to Adam He said, 'Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, "You shall not eat from it"; cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field; by the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return.'"

A few months ago I was charged with the job of weeding a garden. Thankfully it was nothing like this display above, but it was an extremely grueling and time consuming project. Each day I went home dirty and sore. Maybe I'm getting old but when I remained in a kneeling position for too long, it took me a few extra seconds to stand up straight. My knees throbbed with pain as I tried to regain my composure.

During the countless hours logged on my knees, shovel in my gloved hands, I had plenty of time to meditate. During my meditation, I observed several things about a garden, both in the weeds and in the flowers that drew parallels in the spiritual life.

Wisdom from the weed:
1. A weed is something that is there but unwanted
2. No one ever needed to plant a weed. A weed grows on its own.
3. A weed can sometimes pose as a flower, but in its essence, it is still a weed.
4. The ground must be broken. Unless there is brokenness, the weeds cannot be properly removed.
5. The roots go deeper and wider than you think.
6. If just the fruit(flower) is plucked, the weed still remains unremoved only to grow its fruit back in a day or two.
7. Getting the root takes work. It takes getting down and dirty.
8. Removing the root takes loads of work.
9. When you weed a garden, you don’t need to tell anyone. People will notice the difference on their own.
10. Its fruit is evident to all.
11. A garden can't weed itself. It needs the help of a gardener.
12. A garden left untended (no accountability) will quickly be overrun with weeds.

Wisdom from the ground:
1. The soil must be properly toiled. The unwanted must be removed.
2. While dealing with one root, you often will stumble on something that doesn’t belong there that wouldn’t have otherwise been noticed.
3. The dirt makes the difference if a garden will grow there or not. It must be nurtured.
4. When someone has good soil, it is evident to others.

Wisdom from the flowers
1. Producing a garden takes knowledge of the work you are doing. You may accidentally uproot the wrong thing or leave the wrong thing.
2. Producing the beauty of a flower takes work.
3. It doesn’t come naturally. It must be planted.
4. It cannot be planted and left, but needs to be fed and nourished.
5. Weeds must be dealt with immediately or they will cut off the flowers.
6. One can produce a beautiful flower garden through hard work and labor, but if he slacks for few days, his work will start to become undone.
7. It takes lots of digging.
8. Anyone can see the evidence of the presence of flowers in a garden.

Obvious spiritual parallels can be found in this. Spiritual uprightness takes hard work and dedication. And the greatest of Christians are known to be Christian without having to tell anyone that they are Christians.

What kind of Garden are you?

*As I remember more of these parallels, I will add them to the list. Feel free to send me some of your thoughts and additions.

**All updates will be in bold

Theology With Shoes On

2006-08-29T17:18:00.000-04:00

Theology with shoes on. That's what a professor in college called it. It’s practical Christian living; the art of practicing what you preach. It’s easy to know theoretically what you should do, but it becomes an all together different story when the rubber meets the road.

The succession of events goes something like this: 1. I recognize the issue. 2. I confess the issue and give it to the Lord. I feel great about the decision. 3. I envision in my mind how I will handle the situation next time it arises. It goes flawlessly in my mind. Then the situation comes and shifts from theoretical to practical and the next thing I know I’m kissing the ground one more time.

The Lord has been dealing with a growing root of bitterness, which He had brought to light about a month or so ago. As He has been dealing with me, I find the issue goes deeper than being bitter at someone or some particular situation, I’m ultimately fighting bitterness toward God. See, I become bitter at a person because I don’t get what I want. In truth I’m telling God that His way isn’t best because that’s not what I want. It’s not the people or the situation keeping me from what I want, but the Lord using the people and situations to keep me from what I want. Why? Because what I want is not best. Simple as that. So, I must rejoice.

It’s easy to think about the Lord being the sovereign God of the universe when it comes to things like sunsets and miraculous provisions. But what about when things go wrong? When they don’t go your way? When you are wronged by another person? Is He still sovereign then or do the people and/or circumstances of the moment dictate what is happening?

David Crowder, while I don’t particularly enjoy the book, does paint a good picture with “Praise Habit: Finding God In Sunsets And Sushi”. It’s easy to see and recognize God’s hand in the great and good things like sunsets. In May, Jared Kaessner and I camped out in Backbay. We went to the old ranger cabin at the far end of the park once you’ve crossed into False Cape. We sat in the old, rickety wood rocking chair and watched as the sun set over the bay. It was beautiful. The glowing ball of flames marking the center of our solar system plummeted below view past the body of water. During its descent, it produced countless shades of blues, reds, purples and yellows intermingled with golden beams of light spanning from the highest limits of the sky all the way to the ground. Just to add to the beauty of the heavens, the endless mixture of colors collided in the monstrous cumulonimbus cloud off in the southern skies. And to enrich the beauty of the earth, as the sun collided with the horizon, its light lit up the ripples of the water making it look as if the bay itself were engulfed in flames. And no great image is complete without a breathtaking musical score. The wind blowing through the trees is our orchestra and the birds singing in the trees form our choir. How can anyone not see the hand of God in this?

What about the mundane things in life? Where is sovereign control of God then? Is life all of a sudden during that moment, running of its own accord, without the divine control of God? What about when you are put in a position which causes your faith to be tested? Did that happen outside of God’s awareness? No, but He uses these things to try us and purify us, Zechariah 13:9: “And I will bring the third part through the fire, Refine them as silver is refined, And test them as gold is tested They will call on My name, And I will answer them; I will say, 'They are My people,' And they will say, 'The LORD is my God.'”

So, it’s easy to get this theoretically. Practically, we are facing a whole different monster. How it goes in your mind doesn’t really count. You can be the most victorious man or woman ever in your mind but an utter failure in reality. In your imagination you see yourself handling every trial and temptation masterfully, but as soon as it confronts you find yourself surrendering once again. Philippians 2:12: “So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out (live out) your salvation with fear and trembling;” Romans 2:12-13: “For all who have sinned without the Law will also perish without the Law, and all who have sinned under the Law will be judged by the Law; for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified.” James 1:22-25: “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.” It’s not enough to think about it. Righteousness must be lived out. What counts is where the rubber meets the road; your theology with shoes on.

Irritating

2006-08-29T16:54:00.000-04:00

Once again, I am irritated. I must have spent a good half-hour toiling over a blog entry. It was almost complete. Then the the most irritating thing happens. It gets deleted. This isn't the first time this has happened (refer to the "Piperpalooza (for the second time)" post). While the cause was different, the result remains the same. In one nanosecond, so much effort and hours are flushed down the proverbial toilet of time.

I couldn't bring myself to redo all the same work again in the same day, so the blog I began yesterday must be redone today (or tomorrow)... So look for more from me in the near future.

I've been tagged

2006-08-21T14:27:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that I'm giving into this, but I've been "tagged" by Garrett Lee. I've been resisting the fill-in-a-bunch-of-answers-to-a-bunch-of-questions-forwards for a few years now. I can't believe I'm giving in now.*** But how can I resist when such big names such as Dave Griffithsand Nate Mihelis(who refuses to link me to his site because my page name, for some reason, embarrasses him, and my personal hero: G-Money Lee (or as I affectionately call him, Jiminy). So here it goes! What also makes this tough is I've really only ever really read like five books in my lifetime.

(*** - Since I like to make light of everything, I feel led to put a funny answer with every serious one.)

1. One book that changed your life:
Fun:
Hary Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It made me start to love reading.
Serious:
Pretty much anything by Piper... but I guess if I have to be specific Desiring God. How can you not end up a Christian Hedonist after reading this book?!

2. One book that you've read more than once:
Fun:
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstien. That was an awesome book!
Serious
The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer. I was introduced to Tozer by Dr. Champlin back in my Northland days.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island:
Fun:
The Harry Potter collective works in one volume... including the unfinished last book.
or...
to quote Angela from The Office, "Yeah, I'd take The Divinci Code so I could burn it!"
Serious:
The Bible... really, I couldn't give another answer.

4. One book that made you laugh:
Fun:
A Pictoral Guide to Biblical Prophecy by Paul Lee Tan. This is almost a serious answer. I think I remember hearing they gave Mr. Tan approx. 5 days to write the book, which is why we have 3 pages worth of text and 400 pages worth of pictures (most of which had nothing to do with the subject at hand) and another 10 pages worth of grey boxes (apparently, they ran out of pictures and needed to fill in the blank spaces with something). And who hasn't played "Coutn teh mispelngs nad mestakes grammatikal?"
Serious (??):
Rubber Legs and White Tail-Hairs by Patrick F. McManus. This was definitely a book for the John, because I think I would have messed my pants reading it elsewhere.

5. One book that made you cry:
Fun:
New Dictionary of Biblical Theology: Exploring the Unity and Diversity of Scripture put out by IVP. Really, I wanted to cry when I read these articles. I would read them 5-6 times and still feel as dumb as ever if not dumber for not understanding it... Then I was expected to take quizes on it?!
Serious:
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Really. At the end when everybody was dying and Narnia was coming to an end. "Farther up, farther in!"

6. One book you wish had been written:
Fun:
How to Master Anything in Five Minutes or Less
Serious:
How to Master Anything in Five Minutes or Less. Seriously. Hebrew would have been so much better... Or any other subject for that matter!

7. One book you wish had never been written:
Fun:
The numerous wastes of paper by Creflo A. Dollar, Joel Osteen: The Smilling Preacher, Benny Hinn, Joyce Myers and The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson... and the myriad of junk that came out with "The prayer of Jabez" plastered all over it.
(Actually, I guess, I am pretty serious about those!)
Serious:
The Book of Mormon and The Koran
Really, wouldn't it be nice not to have a bunch of helmet-and-dark-pants-and-tie-wearing kids riding around in pairs shoving a worthless book into peoples faces.

8. One book you're currently reading:
Fun:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (again)
Serious:
What to Do on Thursday: A Layman's Guide to the Practical Use of the Scriptures by Jay Adams. Pretty good. Practical.

9. One book you've been meaning to read:
Fun:
Overcoming Procrastination
Serious:
Future Grace by John Piper

10. One book you've read that really sucked:
Fun:
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. Really. I tried it. Really. It sucked.
Serious:
Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets and Sushi by David Crowder. I'm sorry. I love the David Crowder*Band (I really want to know what the * is for), but I just couldn't take his book writting. I thought at first that it might have potential, but just like the emerging church that he comes from, it had no content and just wasn't going anywhere.

11. Tag 5 others: Hmmm...
1.Joey Hill
2.Tim Hill
3.John Piper
4.Mike Osborne
5.Homestar Runner

The origins of the lemon-filled jelly donut

2006-08-05T14:10:00.000-04:00

The lemon-filled jelly donut originated in 1565 when the John III, Duke of Hasbury in England wanted to pull a joke on his long time friend, James the Greater (a whole other story) Count of Edenbury. You see, the cherry-filled jelly donut was a favorite of James the Greater. It was said that he had at least one of these favored donuts at every meal. If his cook staff failed to produce these delights at every meal, he would actually fall into a fit of rage turning the kitchen upside down. It was a real addiction.

This is where John III comes in. He knew that this was his comrades' downfall. Unfortunately, the Duke was also a well known prankster. He was commonly known among the peasants as the Lord Duke of Flatulence. He was tickled to have such an honorable title. So, John III had the idea to replace James' cherry-filled donuts with lemon-filled donuts. He was recorded saying, "I could think of little worse than to expect the sweet taste of cherry but find the tartness of a lemon." He quickly ordered a batch of his puckering delights for his fiendish plan and had one of his errand boys deliver the package instead of the regular delivery of cherry.

Needless to say the Count was outraged at first, but after some time found it somewhat humorous. In retaliation, he took a goat bladder filled with air and nearly sealed shut and put it on John's chair. This is where we get today's whoopee-cushion! Back to the donut. This was not the end of this prank. The people caught on and it became a common prank to slip one lemon-filled jelly donut in every batch of donuts they sold and is a tradition carried on today even by the largest of donut vendors, Dunkin' Donuts. See, it is nearly impossible to tell cherry from cream to lemon filled. All you will see is a dark hole on the one side of a donut and you pray you aren't the one who accidentally grabs the jelly donut.

Ok. So, that whole story was a load of malarkey. But I am truly convinced the lemon-filled jelly donut has been created as a prank. Who could possibly want to knowingly bite into that thing? What brings this up? Yes. I fell prey to this dirty little prank this morning at work. I looked as hard as I could to see what was contained in the secret compartment of the donut. All prayers and guesses failed as I was suprised by the taste of that nasty lemon jelly.

At risk of sounding irreverant, sin is like a lemon-filled jelly donut. It looks good. Oh, man! Does it look good! Your mouth salivates as it sees that heavenly, puffed pastry sitting there covered by sweet powdered sugar. You almost think twice about eating it because you know you'll look like ghost by the time you are finished. You wonder how the sugar multiplied with every bite because you don't remember that much being on the blasted donut. But the battle over the flesh ends as you pick up that Dunkin' Donut-made-piece-of-manah and place it on your excited taste buds. You bite down expecting to taste sugar cream or cherry. But much to your dismay, all you taste is lemon. You were duped. Duped into believing something so wretched and horrible could look so good! Proverbs 16:25 "There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death." Proverbs 5:3-5 "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, Her steps take hold of Sheol."

So often we are, in one sense, duped into believing that something as vile as sin is good. That's in once sense. In another, we are at blame. See, we never needed to push the limits. Who ever said that you had to have the donut anyway? You could've had a bagel. But, you decided that you needed to have that cherry filled donut at risk of getting a lemon filled donut. See, we try to push the envelope too often. We want to see how far we can go without going too far. Unfortunately, by the time we realize we need to stop, we've already gone too far and we're already half way down the hill... or the lemon donut is half way down our throats. 2 Timothy 2:22 "Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."

The Art of Words

2006-08-01T21:30:00.000-04:00

While a picture is worth a thousand words, a well placed word will paint a thousand pictures.

I reckon it's time to clean house

2006-07-27T00:14:00.000-04:00

Books, strewn all over as if there is a ten page paper due tomorrow and there’s 9 ½ pages to go. Spoons, sitting in bowls covered with the remnants of who knows what. There’s a bottle of Equate ibuprofen, diet pills and Axe Effect and an empty Gatorade. A few advertisements, a couple bills and some random papers lay intermingled in. Then there’s the camera used for the above picture to take your mind where you imagination cannot quite reach. Funny thing is that’s just the dining room table. I haven’t even reached the rest of the room.

There’s a lamp located not to far from the middle of the room. Towels, phones, flashlights, dirty plates, a $15 skateboard and an old donkey skull line the room. But the oddest has yet to be mentioned. A 3.5 horsepower mower sits as the centerpiece of the room. Sounds quaint, right?

Let’s move to the kitchen. There are pots and pans and plates lying around just begging to be cleaned and put away. If we move down to the recreational room, you’ll find an oversized, 50” television as the center of your attention. The randomly placed objects left in the oddest of places will finally catch your attention as you are able take your eyes off the TV screen.

If we move upstairs, you will be graced with shirts, gym bags, day backpacks and storage containers that haven’t moved the entire time I’ve been here. If you go straight ahead, you’ll find a bathroom where… Well, I think it would be better we don’t go in there. So, go to your right and you’ve reached the masterpiece of all cleaning disasters, though at times it has miraculously improved. It has never been immaculate, but at least improved. Here’s been my demise. While making efforts to clean, the laundry has been my reoccurring enemy. I will neatly fold everything and put it away after being sick and tired of not being able to sit down, walk around or find anything. Next thing I know, there’s more laundry to put away again. See, I don’t have any problems washing it and drying it. It’s the folding, ironing and putting away the clothes that I absolutely despise for some strange reason.

I reckon it’s time to clean house. I have no one else to blame and I cannot expect anyone to do it for me. There is one specific reason: No one can. The reason being, despite what the picture shows, I’m not referring to the house. Instead, I’m speaking of my life.

Just like my laundry, I am notorious for starting a proverbial “clean up” project while failing to complete it. I start out all zealous and excited, but like a candle burning 3 wicks at both ends, my enthusiasm too often curbs quickly.

Is there a reason? Why do I, over and over again, start up but never finish? Is it just “the way I am”? Or is it a shortage (or maybe a total lack) of faith?

I would venture to say the issue is brokenness. I want, what I want, when I want it. Did you catch that? If I want it, I take it. If I want to, I do it. When I want to do it, I act immediately. I must, by the working of the Spirit, be broken of my pride. That is what unbrokenness comes down to. It is a stiff-necked spirit.

Deuteronomy 10:16-17

"So circumcise your heart, and stiffen your neck no longer. For the LORD your God is the God of gods and the Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God who does not show partiality nor take a bribe."

Pastor Dan once told me about how he broke his arm. I think he was playing football or something. The point is, it healed all wrong. It was never properly set. He was advised that it would need to be rebroken and reset. This would be more painful than the first. If he didn’t have it set correctly, he could function, yes. However, he would have discomfort especially in physical activity. He still to this day has yet to get the procedure done.

To borrow the phrase from some of my friends, “Dave, you’re just not right.” If they only knew. In order to be properly functional, there needs to be a sort of re-brokenness. There needs to be a house cleaning in my life. This comes, first and foremost, through the power of the Holy Spirit. This comes through prayer and a humbling (funny thing is, that comes from the Spirit too). It also comes through daily meditation and delight on the Lord and His Word -- renewing the mind. It comes through a constant battle over the flesh.

So, I find myself, and I hope you are doing the same thing, praying what I believe Steve Green has said best, “Whatever it takes Lord, do."

The Wrath of God Is Revealed

2006-07-21T01:10:00.000-04:00

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.

Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.

And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them."

On Monday, I found myself enjoying, once again, my iPod in my God provided vehicle as I went to the pet store to pick up some food for my snake, Mr. Anderson. All they had left were large rats. I was a little apprehensive about subjecting this large of a rodent to my beloved pet, but it was the smallest they had and Mr. Anderson had been becoming particularly cranky. And as, I'm sure you can guess, that's not a good thing when you have a killer as a pet. I was confident that my reptile would be able to extinguish the life out of the furry little beast, but I wasn't sure if he would be able to swallow it. So, I figured I would at least give it a try.

It was about 10:30pm. Kristen promised us a batch of her famous (at least in our house) enchiladas if I waited until she arrived to begin the feeding frenzy. So, I was more than happy to oblige. She arrived at the house, enchiladas in hand. It was time.

We all hurried up to the room to watch the death match: snake vs. rat. The rat was nothing like the mice that have gone before him. While the mice were skittish and afraid to venture anywhere too quickly, the rats know no fear. They, giving no thought to wandering aimlessly, walk right into their death. The death blow comes quickly. If you blink, you will miss the snake lunge forward, bite the rat and wrap twice around the rodent. Right then, you know it's over. The rat has no chance of escape. Minutes later, he is lying dead in the stomach of the snake. My wrath, if you will, had been pronounced on the rat. Was it as it lay dead in the stomach of Mr. Anderson? No. It was pronounced the moment, I gave it what it wanted: Freedom from the confines of its box.

What I have quoted at the beginning of this article is what is commonly referred to as Romans 1:18-32. I have taken the time to remove the troublesome verse markings (please refer to my previous post, Project Context). I was cut deep as I listened to Pastor Piper preach on this passage tonight as continue to plow through his 204 part series on the book of Romans.

Many believe that God's first and only real pronouncement of judgment on man for his sin is being cast into Hell for eternity. While this is most definitely a severe pronouncement of judgment, this is definitely not the first nor is it the only judgment due to the sin of man. Man’s being given over to an immoral, sinful or depraved life is the first act of judgment upon him. He is leading an immoral life because of his rejection of God. The fact that he is living a life of immorality or sin is a direct act of judgment on man because he has rejected to acknowledge Him as God. "and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man.... therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity.... for this reason God gave them over to degrading passions... and just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind..."

Brothers and sisters, we live in lives and patterns of sin because we have chosen (It is not a result of upbringing, family situations, surroundings or any other third party influence. It is our own choice.) to not acknowledge Him as God. How does this translate? We have hated the Lord our God! We have hated Him because we have rejected what He desires. So what is His first pronouncement of judgment? Giving us what we wanted. Just like the rat, our choice to sin (perceived freedom) leads to the final judgment: the final death. So we're trapped. Just like the rat, we have no way out. Our walls are 20 times higher than we can possibly muster up the ability to climb.

Is there hope? Glory be to God, there is! Justification (and sanctification) by faith alone! The only way to escape this downward slope of judgment is by faith. Yes, there is a responsibility to actively work towards breaking the cords of sin habit, but it is produced in faith. The freedom has already been purchased. The Lord is ready and more than willing to reach down and rescue us from the judgment we have walked right into. He requires only faith.

Now if it's just by faith, doesn't that mean we can sin? God forbid it! A result of a faith filled life is an obedient life. They go hand in hand. While sin will still continue in these fallen bodies, it will not define us. It will not be our modus operandi.

Flee being given over to sin. Pursue faith. Flee judgment. Pursue freedom.

1989 Olds meets 2005 Apple

2006-07-17T02:05:00.000-04:00

Oddly enough, 2005's ingenuity has joint forces with 1989 automotive design.

I was recently in an accident and my car is now sitting in an auto body shop waiting to be fixed and get back on the road. I'm looking at atleast another two weeks before I get it back. They said it will take a week to order the parts... which is really strange because its the body shop attached to the dealership. You'd think they get enough '04 Civics in there that they'd have most of those parts on hand or atleast be able to procure them pretty quickly.

I was driving down the far righthand lane of a wet and rainy I-95 just north of Fredericksburg which is just a little south of DC. As I was coming down the hill, I saw some water building up on the highway at the lowest point. I told myself, "You don't want to hydroplane, so you better slow down." So I let off the gas and slowed down a bit... apparently not enough.

As I hit the water, I felt a sudden jerk as the water splashed up underneath the car. Then it happened. My car started to turn in a direction which I didn't direct it to go or want it to go. I was now facing the ditch on the right side of the road. Of course, my natural reaction was to turn the wheel the other direction. I went the other direction... too far the other direction. I was now facing a Pontiac Grand Am. It was at this point my tires decided to catch the road and I made haste towards the unsuspecting driver. I caught both her and her mother's attention as my driver side bumper smashed in the passenger side door sending glass from her window into her mother's lap without cutting her at all and somehow a few small specks managed to find their way scratching and getting stuck in my driver side windows. Honestly, it felt like I was riding in a bumper car. I can't really recall which direction I started to spin in. It was probably clockwise. As I was going 4o-50 mph (by this point) facing the wrong direction, I noticed a sea of cars coming my direction. As I continued to do auto acrobats, I'm sitting there grasping my steering wheel with white knuckles thinking about the cars all around me realizing I have absolutely no control of my car and saying over and over again, "Lord, please save me. Lord, please save me."

I think I spun around one more time and as I was facing forward yet another time, all four wheels began to grip the tarmac again. I pulled off to the side of the road. I was shaking like crazy. I got out of my car and started to head down the highway where the Grand Am was sitting on the other side of the road.

As I approached the car and I saw the passenger side door smashed in, I wanted to walk back to my car and leave because I was scared of what happened. Thankfully, they were both ok. The police came, took our testimonies of what happened and I was written a summons to court in August for reckless driving (and boy am I glad I have a lawyer friend to tell me how to handle my case).

Believe it or not, I drove away from this accident! All the way home, in fact. Even more unbelievable, this isn't the first time I've driven away unscathed from an accident going over 65 mph. And last time, there weren't even any police. Truly the Lord has protected me.

I've had time to think about the possibilities as to why the Lord allowed me to be in that accident on the Fourth of July and I have come to certain conclusions. They are, I'm sure, in no way exhaustive. First, that I hold to closely to things. I love stuff. The more I get and the more expensive it is, the better. It's just stuff. Second, and seems to be the clearest to me is, I am not God. What I mean by this is, for too long now, I have continued to live however I feel like living... like I am God and I make the rules. I have lived like I can do what I want, when I want with zero consequences. I have believed a lie. And the Lord has made this abundantly clear to me as He directed my automobile as easly as a child with a matchbox car yet with utter precision jolting me around enough to send the message without finishing in a 10 car pile up and ending up like the corpse of the man I saw spread out on the road earlier that day getting off of I-495 in DC onto I-95. Now I have reached the most difficult part... where the rubber meets the road. I now have to put this knowledge into practice.

Another thing I have seen come of this is the provision from Lord and the giving spirit of a fellow Brother in Christ. Most people would have had to resort to spending hundreds of dollars on a car rental for 3 weeks. Steve Osborne has graciously allowed me to borrow his station wagon while I have my car in the shop. And while I have been driving around in a 1989 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser, Apple has provided me with the technology to still be be able to plug in my ipod and utilize the cars stereo to play my favorite tunes. 1989 Olds meets 2005 Apple.

Even as I write this, I am learning new things. I have been worried about where I am going to get the finances to pay for my deductable and still be able to pay my bills. If the Lord can provide me with a car, He can provide me with the funds I need to meet my financial obligations. He just wants me to trust Him... along with being a good steward of what He has already given me.

Just out for a ride

2006-07-17T01:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Steve Osborne and I went out for a bike ride at Seashore State Park. We went out in the middle of storm. I had realized this wasn't my brightest idea ever (certainly not my dumbest either!) as we were crossing bridges in the wide open land and bolts of lightning struck somewhere not too far away judging by the blast of light and the almost immediate boom of the thunder. My fears were slightely lessened as we rode past a bunch of spanish guys standing in the water (don't ask me why I thought this, maybe the water shorted something in my brain to make me think that it was logical for the lightening to strike these guys first for being even dumber than we were). Maybe lightning doesn't strike people standing in bodies of water in Mexico (sorry Miguel ;o). Anyway... We were drenched and muddy by the time we got back to the car. My rear brakes were messed up from all the gunk that got into the brake line.

Why write all this? Well, the emphasis is not actually on the bikes, trails, storm or even the gunked up brakes. The fellowship was great. I can always trust that a conversation with Steve will be profitable and Godward. I admire his ability to be disciplined (even if he isn't so disciplined with his schoolwork as I found out as we were splashing through puddles like a couple of little kids). Even more than that, I admire his commitment to godliness shown through is Godward conversation and example. He brought up something that he learned recently and something that I have learned somewhat as I have been working my way through my Piperpalooza. It's this: What you worship is your God. What you worship is what you treasure. What you treasure is what you are consumed by and talk about the most frequently and confidently.

Are you consumed by God or are you comsumed by music? Do you speak more confidently in how good of a purchase you made when buying your car or in the Salvific power of your Savior? Are you consumed with worldly pleasure or do you find your pleasure and delight in knowing God and enjoying Him completely?

Piperpalooza (for the second time)

2006-06-30T07:03:00.000-04:00

I have been listening to a load of sermons the past few weeks. I've pretty much finished listening to Mike's Sunday School messages. I've been getting a ton from this. I've been learning a ton about the ministry of the Holy Spirit and how my interaction should be with other believers in the Body of Christ.
I've been taking in a lot of Piper... kind of a Piperpalooza. I can't get enough. I'm sitting there engrossed, hands sweating, nearly in tears (nearly... remember, I'm sitting at my desk at work. That would look really odd.), in a fear of God through Pipers presentation of God's holiness and God's righteous self-centeredness. And it's in a way only Piper has been blessed to present it. But I'm also sitting there wanting to throw my hands in the air and shout praise to God.
In his presentation of 2 Thess and 1 John, he has been drilling in the idea: no outward evidence, no assurance. I can't lose my salvation, but if I'm not living out my salvation with fear and trembling, then I don't get the peace either. A true believer will persevere and grow.
He has also, in his 2 Thess study, made me start to question pre-trib theology... this is where I could use everyone's input. Paul comforts the believers that Christ hasn't returned by telling them the son of perdition must be revealed and then the falling away. Why would he comfort them by telling them that it hasn't happened yet, when they would miss it anyway if there was really a pre-trib rapture? I talked to Joey Hill earlier. He tried to say that the son of perdition can be revealed but they just don't know it's him. That's a stretch at best. It seems like a wild grasp for something to fit the presupposed theology than a theology fashioned around that specific passage.
Thoughts?

Project Context

2006-06-15T03:12:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about chapter and verse divisions in the Bible a lot lately. I'm finding them really disrupting. I know that I shouldn't get distracted by those nastly little numbers, but it's so easy. Beyond that, they make you lose the paragraph feel of it. It become every line for itself.

I've been searching for a Bible without any chapter/verse divisions. It's not very easy to come by. I've had a few people tell me about the Phillip's translation. Two problems for me. 1. It still has the chapter/verse markings, they are just in the margin. I don't care where they are. If they are on the page, I'm going to be in a chapter/verse mentality. And many of us are familiar enough with the the text anyway, that we know where the chapter/verse begins and ends. Having it on the page will only make it easier in our minds to place it where it has always been. 2. I'm not looking for a translation. I'm not becoming some NASB Only guy or something. It's just I'm very familiar and pleased with the NASB Updated ("The most literal just became more readable!" Sorry.;-). I want to have the NASB with no chapt/verse divisions.

So, in reaction to this, I've begun Project Context. I'm removing all chapt/verse markings and putting it in paragraph form (with the help of my NASB's paragraph markings). The result so far is a number free Romans, Ephesians, 1 John and Ruth. My goal is all 66 books. I'm a bit nervous about Psalms. I know that there's a different form for that. Does anyone have some good information about that for me?

What I've read of it so far has been awesome. It's like reading a text. I'm seeing the context clearer than ever before. I'm finding it easier to follow the though flow of the author. I'm also finding easier to read more. It's easy to feel like I've read a lot because I've read a few chapters, when in reality, I haven't even got the author's full thought. We wouldn't ever dream of putting a book down halfway through a chapter because we want to finish the thought. But we wouldn't think twice about putting the Bible down after just a taste of what he is saying.

I've gotten good reactions from others who have seen it so far. Most think and feel the same when when it's brought to their attention.

What are your thoughts? Also, does anyone have some good information about copyright laws? I'm not out to be a criminal because of the Bible. That would be really ironic, huh?

This is beginning to become quite depressing really.

2006-05-17T22:01:00.000-04:00

I've been hoping for some posts for a few days. I come back on here excited to see if anyone has posted. The glimmer in my eye is beginning to fade as I have come on here several times only to find... "posted by Mwelwa at 8:07 PM 0 comments " I'm really starting to feel like a loser. -really, you don't have to post just to affirm that last comment.

Elements of communion

2006-05-17T20:07:00.000-04:00

I called up Dave Hayton today and we dialogued for a while concerning our conversation that was brought up through Nate's article on communion and is there a certain setting that it needs to take place in.

We started to discuss the issues concerning the actual elements themselves. The major question at hand is, how important are the actual elements chosen (bread and wine)? Next, could they be substituted in certain situations (i.e. on the mission field in the western part of Zambia where they've never even heard of a grape or wheat, much less wine or bread)? If it can, to what degree can you change it (i.e. the staple food in Zambia, nshima and/or water instead of wine)? If not, what is the significance of the specific elements? What about in our American context? I don't think that we grasp the concept of 1. unleavened bread with our little waffers 2. wine with welche's grape juice 3. the idea of it being like a meal with our horse de'vours and shot glasses. Are we changing/have we already changed the picture of real communion supper from how it's supposed to be done?

I have heard from some people that you shouldn't have it at all if not all the proper elements are available (then again after pondering on this for a while, as mentioned before, are we using the proper elements?). I feel very uncomfortable with this, especially when we are talking about other areas of the world where the elements don't exist. The Lord's Supper is a command, not a great idea. The question then posed is, how often does it need to be done? More than every couple years, I believe, which is the only way it could happen in a bush missions context. I would lean more towards weekly looking at the Corinthian model. It seems (at my first and uneducated glance) that this is a very regular thing. However, I wouldn't say that's the only way to do that.

What are your thoughts?

Seriously

2006-05-15T01:08:00.000-04:00

Seriously. I want people to feel comfortable sharing what the Lord is teaching them in their lives. It doesn't have to be a theological treatise, just what the Spirit has been teaching you. Basically, if you can't type it in English, it may not be what I'm looking for here (most likely).
I, for instance, was meditating on Ephesians 5:8 a few weeks ago. I'm very familiar with the picture of walking in darkness or light clearly pictured in 1 John. I was blown away when I started grasping the concept in this verse. I see here that when I was unsaved, I was not in darkness, but i WAS darkness. I didn't live in it but I contributed to it! NOW, as a regernerated follower of Christ, I am light. I am now a beacon of light to the world.
Side thought... if I'm not a beacon to the world, I'm darkness which means, I have no assurance by Scripture that I am born again. No I don't believe a believer can lose his salvation, but I do believe we coddle to many "sanctified (but lost) "believers" (people who talk the talk but inwardly have no change -- consequently showing up in their personal lives outside of the fellowship of the Body of Christ) into believing they are born again because they prayed with mommy when they were 4 1/2. Brass tax: alive in Christ-walk as light; seperation(death) from Christ - walk as darkness. So, now that I have gone all over the place with this post, your thoughts...

What am I doing. Silly Newbee

2006-05-14T18:34:00.000-04:00

Well, this is my blog. I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. I also don't really know what to do with it yet. Not really sure how this thing works.
I went to create a login and it turns out Mwelwa was already taken. I thought, "what the heck! Who else would be using Mwelwa as their name?" Turns out I logged in here like a year and a half ago. I think it was when Garrett (G-money (or Jiminy as I call him:)) started one.
So, I don't know exactly why I'm writing this because noone knows about my blog yet, so this is kinda pointless. Well, except that when my friends do finally make their way here, they can point and laugh at my ignorance to blogging.