Ode to a Cardmember

I wrote this while I was at work today. For those who don't know, I'm a bill collector for HSBC Retail Services:

Ode to a Cardmember

O cardmember, cardmember, why'd you do me so wrong?
You said you mailed it yesterday, so it shouldn't be long.
I waited and waited
For the anticipated
Check that you sent, but all hope has now faded.

Seven days later, I now see through your lie!
So say to your credit, "So long!" and "Bye bye!"
Shame on you! Shame!
For it is no game!
So here's some late fees, and you have no one to blame.

"Take off these late fees!" You will call up and say.
"Remove them all now or no more will I pay!"
"It's usury" You'll cry.
But don't even try
To get'em off now because excuses don't fly.

"I've got four mouths to feed and a mortgage to boot."
Feeing your kids, sorry that point is now moot.
For you spend and you spent
At the bar where you went.
I guess you shouldn't have drank to such an extent.

Five months have now gone and you've not paid one cent.
All we've asked you to do is to pay what we've lent.
No blood from a stone,
Not even your own.
Have we asked of you, ma'am, to pay on your loan.

So when can you pay the money you're due?
Beg, borrow, steal. Here's just a few
Ways you can pay
Your money today.
Cutting your cable's another good way.

If you learn one thing about the credit game,
Discover to Chase, they're all the same.
Nothing's for free
In time you'll see
When we get what we gave, that times three.