Shadow: The Golden Almost Retriever

I've recently managed to travel back home to PA again. My dad had another birthday on March 9th, so I went home to take him to a hockey game as a reminder of how much those games he took me to as a kid meant to me and how I love spending time with him. That, however, is something for a different post. The subject of this rant is a little more hairy.

While I was home, I made an observation that I am more like my sister's Golden Retriever, Shadow, than I ever thought I would be. First, and not quite so related to the following story, is how annoying he can be... but I still love that dog. I've had friends, two in particular that I can remember, saying to me, "I want to be irritated with you sometimes, but I just can't." There's a lovable obnoxiousness about him. On many evenings in the living room, by the TV, you will find my parents watching their favorite shows. By their side will be the gigantic beast waiting for someone to pet him. When this doesn't happen after, say, five minutes, he begins his hunt for a resting hand. He will nudge his cold, wet nose underneath just hoping to get a few scratches on his back. I always love finding the spot on his side that makes his leg twitch uncontrollably. Or, he will grab his ball and keep dropping it on you until you throw it for him. He lives for it. He is, of course, a Golden Retriever... almost.

The next thing builds on his last characteristic of being annoying. While I was home, I went out back to throw his ball with him. Though, it's not much of a ball anymore. It used to be a black, miniature basketball. Now, it's a flattened, concave piece of rubber. None of his toys ever seem to last very long. He also lives to destroy his toys. I think he considers their structural integrity a challenge that cannot go uncontested. At any rate, in the arena of the back yard, there are two sure things with Shadow. He wants you to throw his ball for him. He is, as I stated earlier, a Golden Retriever... almost. See, when you throw the ball for him, he will run with all the energy his furry, little legs can muster. He'll scoop up the ball with his slobber-filled mouth and he will run straight back for you with the utmost tenacity. Then, the second sure thing, for whatever reason he will stop about ten feet short and will not go a step further. Like I said, he's a Golden Almost Retriever.

I don't know about anyone else, but I find myself living life that way. I start something and don't always quite finish it. While I did finish college, only by the grace of God, I found myself starting every semester with a goal of working really hard and getting amazing grades in all of my classes. I would call my mom every day that I could say truthfully, "Mom, I just wanted to let you know that I still have a 100% in all of my classes.” That usually lasted from the first day to somewhere between my first quiz and the two week mark of the semester. Then I would go to my default goal of passing.

I find this too often in my spiritual life as well. I find myself staring sin down like a matador stares down a bull. I'm determined to grab sin by it's horns and bring it down like the wild beast that it is. I start with the best of intentions and intensity. Then somewhere along the line, I find myself winded and giving up, allowing the very sin I fought to pin me down.

But, by the grace of God I haven't given up. I continue to fight the sin. As rough as the road has been at times, I continue to run the race. By the power of the Spirit, I am ferociously determined not to be a Born Almost Again Christian. I don't want to be a casualty of sin.

While there have been a number of occasions that I have wanted to throw in the towel and give up on what, at the time, seems like a futile fight, there is Something inside of me that won't let me. On just as many occasions, I have been tempted to question my salvation, and according to many of Paul's epistles, rightly so. But one thing that has given me the most assurance during those toughest times, I just can't come to actually giving up. There's something inside me that won't allow me to play dead and give up. And, there's only one answer I have for that, the Holy Spirit.

So, no matter how many times I fall and skin my knees, and I know I will, I know that I will always get back up and will continue to push forward. Not because I'm a super-sweet guy who does awesome at everything, but because I have the power and drive of the Living God dwelling inside of me and He will not let me quit. I believe the Lord has saved me so, just like Paul said in 1 Timothy 1, Jesus Christ could demonstrate His patience and grace to others He will save.
So believers, run with vigor and strength. But, when you fall, be encouraged when you get back up. It wasn't you, but the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within you. For those who have given up and have left Christ, or those who have never even started the race at all, put your trust in Christ and enter into that everlasting relationship with Him. Receive the power to run the race, finish the course and receive the prize of eternal fellowship with God.

Hebrew 12:1-2
Therefore since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne.